Percy stood off to the side as his girlfriend had a tearful reunion with her former lieutenant turned wolf. After drying her tears, Artemis managed to ask how in the Hades Zoë was alive and remembering her. She did not answer, as she did not have a human's vocal cords.

After gently threatening Percy about what would happen if he didn't bring Zoë along whenever they saw each other again, before making a mistake that would quite possibly end with Percy's throat getting torn out.

"Bye Seaweed Brain! I love you!"

Not thinking at all about the implications of admitting his love for his Moonbeam in front of one of the most devout and eldest hunters in history (who was now in the body of a 6 foot tall wolf), he stupidly said, "Bye, love you to!" As Artemis dismissed the call with a sweep, both came to a similar realization of whelp, I'm/he's fucked. 

The Son of Poseidon slowly turned toward the wolf before him, calmly taking in her shocked face morph into one of ragefull confusion. "You probably want an explanation."

But before he could begin, Zoë had leapt upon him and torn his that out. The End.

Back in the 90's begins to play

Except no, because I'm not ending this story on 8 chapters. 

What actually happened was Percy pulled up a barstool seemingly from nowhere, took a seat and in what can only be described as a 'grandpa talking to his grandchildren about his glory days' tone said, "Take a seat. We're going to be here for a while."

And so he began telling his tale, starting from being attacked by Kelli at Goode. He explained the fight against Kronos and the (partial, since Zoë was feeling kind to the male) redemption of Luke Castellan, and his kidnapping/6 months on the run thanks to Hera. He told the wolf of his journey to Alaska with Hazel Levesque and Frank Zhang to rescue Thanatos, and his fall into Tartarus after his closest friend. After his description of the fight against Gaea, Zoë began to wonder how much of this story was embellishing the other members of the quests.

After this he told her about the council's decision to marry him and Artemis, with many assurances she and the huntresses were happy with it. Unfortunately for Past Percy, it took less than a month for some fuck-up to happen with him at the center.

It was supposed to be a little 'get together' of sorts between him, Annabeth, and Grover. You know, hunt some monsters and talk about what was missed when Percy was kidnapped. It didn't take long for a few hellhounds to show up. Nothing serious at first. But apparently, hellhounds can shadow-travel to Tartarus. This fact was discovered by Percy after grabbing ahold of a fleeing hellhound.

Immediately after the beast dumped him on the rocky ground of Tartarus, the Primordial spoke to him. Through a newly-formed crack next to Poseidon's son, and rumble congratulated him. Tartarus was impressed that Percy had somehow landed his sorry ass in the Pit not once, but twice, within the span of a single month. And despite Percy's desperate assurances it wasn't need, he was 'gifted' with the Blessing of the Pit. Tartarus' consciousness moved on to other matters, leaving Percy to find his own way out of the Pit.

As Percy finished this part of his story, Zoë looked as shocked as a muzzle could make her. This man had not only earned the affections of her mistress, but survived Tartarus twice?!? An here he was, talking about it like it was nothing! How can someone possibly be this blind to their own achievements?

As his tale continued, Percy explained how he discovered monster's way out of Tartarus and made his way to the surface. He stopped mid sentence however, when he realized something. "You're probably wondering what the blessing actually did to me, aren't you?" Zoë realized she was not in fact wondering that, but was curious now that he had brought it up. He motioned for the wolf to stay were she was for a moment before moving to the cabinets lining the walls of the kitchen. After rifling through them for a time or two before finding a water glass. He filled it up at one of the many sinks, and moved back to his barstool seat. 

Setting the glass on a nearby counter, Zoë watched with interest and just a little fear as the clear water bloomed into a solid black. The water floated out and began to slowly orbit around the Bane of Monster's head, instinctively forming the beginning of a crown. Throughout all of this, Percy's right eye had shifted from the usual sea-green to a toxic, glowing green, with shifting streaks of a disgusting purple in them. Zoë's fear had certainly skyrocketed, as Percy sat calmly before her with a crown of Styx water.

The crown shifted into water from the Phlegethon, the Lethe, the Cocytus, and finally the Acheron, before transmuting back to normal water and settling in the glass. Percy looked at the stunned wolf with a small, tired smile. A smile he gained from watching demigods and the like first witnessing his ability to wield a water designed to burn the souls away from more or less anything.

He waited and watched as Zoë processed this information and looked at him with new respect. So he decided now would be a good time to drop the bomb that he was kind of Kvasir on a larger scale.

"So, I'm going to take a wild guess and say you know about the whole, 'every religion is real' thing, right?", Percy asked her. Zoë nodded her assent. Considering the fact she had been Artemis' lieutenant since Ancient Greece, it would have been far stranger for her not to know. "Well, I may have reestablishedtiesbetweenmostofthepantheonswithayearandahalf." Percy seemed oddly nervous about this, but at this point Zoë just gave him a deadpan stare. 

Percy finally got off his seat, checking the time. Apparently, he had been talking with the former huntress for over three hours, and it was now 11:35. He looked toward the pile of fur on the floor to see Gary curled up, with Cred nestled in his mane. He could feel Sheila clinging to his back and Othello on his shoulder, more than likely sound asleep. Slowly, he reached under his shirt and placed her on the counter as he went to grab something from the package he failed to get earlier. 

Reaching in he pulled out ... Gary's stuffed Gible. Thalia had got it for the furball as a birthday (What they called the day he was adopted), who became immediately enamored by the plushie. Percy gently slid the Gible into the crook of Gary's arm, (who immediately began snuggling the toy) and moved Sheila and Othello into Gary's mane. At this, Percy turned out the kitchen light and moved to lie down on Gary's stomach. Zoë stared for a moment, before shrugging as best she could, and curled up next to the demigod.

Tada! I updated! So, two quick things; 

I'm going to be putting the European (minus Celtic and Norse), African, Native American, and Pacific island gods under one umbrella for each. I am deeply sorry if I accidently offend your heritage by doing this, it's just easier for me.

2. Gods who's blessing Percy carries. I have the ones for Egypt, Norse, and Polynesian gods, and I need one for each pantheon. Animals are not blessings. 

Also, quick thing that will come up but it's easier that it's assumed; The Christian angels and demons abhor the 'pagan' religions. Angels and demons find the polytheistic members to be 'pagan scum that must be cleansed from the earth', and Christianity replaced almost all of the other religions, with the exception of the Greeks and some early Middle East cultures. However, the sheer hatred on both sides is to the point where demigods and monsters will stop fighting and work a temporary truce should an angel or demon show up. Also, it's only the Christians, because they're the ones that really stamped out the other cultures. So no blessings from angels and demons. 

Final thing, how would you guys feel about a confrontation scene between Percy, the Hunters, and the Joker? Context? *whispers* Remember Harley? *whispers*