chapter forty-seven

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15 minutes had gone by and Lourdes hadn't spoken a word to Rashir. She refused to even look at him, choosing to completely avoid eye contact and either look down or around the room.

Neither of them had their phones since they'd only thought they'd be upstairs for a minute, so they had no choice but to sit in silence, waiting for their friends to unlock the door, which they both knew wasn't going to be anytime soon.

Lourdes looked up from her fingernails, which she'd been picking, and accidentally made eye contact with Rashir who was already staring at her. She quickly looked to the side, suddenly finding the blank T.V to be very interesting. She looked around the room, trying to find the T.V remote but quickly realized Gianna must have hidden it.

"So this what we doin' now? We not talking?" Rashir spoke up from the other side of the room. He'd made himself comfortable at Gianna's desk, sitting in the chair while Lourdes refused to move from the corner of the room. She didn't reply, continuing to pick at her fingernails, not even acknowledging him.

He didn't like that so he got up from the chair, making his way over to her. She backed away from him but only backed herself further into the wall as he stood in front of her, staring her down.

"You can't speak?" He asked, reaching out to tilt her chin upwards but she slapped his hand away, going around him so she had some personal space. She went to stand at the other corner of the room, not saying a word to him while he ran his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated. She had no interest in speaking to him at all and was fully prepared to completely ignore him until they were let out of the room. She'd seriously contemplated jumping out of the window but she knew that they were too high up.

Rashir followed her to the other side of the room, trapping her in a cage between his arms while she looked away. While he was the one that broke up with her, he still wanted to be on good terms with her and hopefully work all of their issues out. She was the one that was being stubborn. He didn't know that she'd seen him with Destiny and assumed that he moved on, so he chalked her behavior up to her just being her.

"Lo," He reached out to touch her but she dodged it.

"Don't touch me," She snapped, ducking under his arms and going to the door to try and jiggle it open again.

"Oh so now you can speak," He said with fake shock and it aggravated her. He was treating this like some sort of joke and she was starting to get annoyed.

"I can speak, there's just nothing to talk about," She gritted out, crossing her arms.

"Fuck you mean there's nothing to talk about?"

"I'm not doing this with you Rashir, why can't we just sit in silence until they let us out of here? I don't need to hear your voice right now," She said angrily and he chuckled.

"So you'd rather sit in silence than talk? We gon' be in here for a while,"

"Like I said, there's nothing to talk about,"

"Lo why–"

"Don't call me that," She cut him off.

"I can't call you–"

"No." She looked at the clock, willing it to make the time go by faster.

"Lourdes, you really acting like this right now? This how you want things to be?" He asked her with raised eyebrows. He didn't understand where this attitude was coming from. While they were broken up, he thought they were still friends. Lourdes squinted her eyes at him, confused as to what he was talking about.

"Are you forgetting? We're not together anymore, and that's because of you. Stop acting like we're friends or some shit,"

"Lo, we not–"

"I told you to stop calling me that," She raised her voice, getting annoyed. She couldn't handle being stuck in a room with him anymore and she was cursing all of her friends out in her mind for putting her in this situation.

"So what you want then? Huh?"

"I want you to shut up talking to me," She snapped and he took a deep breath. She was testing his patience and he didn't have a lot of it nowadays.

"No."

"No?" She repeated.

"No Lourdes. Yeah we broke up, but I still fucking love you, you don't see that? I want us to be together. But we can't do that if we don't talk," He communicated but she still wasn't having it.

"I don't want to talk with you, why don't you go 'talk' with your new girl? I'm sure she'd love that," She quipped. He reeled back in shock, confused as to what girl she was talking about. His face must have given away that he was in confusion, which for some reason set Lourdes off.

"What? You don't know who I'm talking about? Too many girls that you're getting confused about which one I'm talking about? It's only been 2 weeks and you already went back to your old ways huh?" Her voice became shaky but she continued, "You couldn't even wait like a month? How many girls did you fuck?"

"I'on know what you talking–"

"Stop fucking lying!" She yelled while tears streamed down her face, "You accused me of cheating, but you're out here already fucking people 2 weeks after we broke up. Did you mean anything that you ever said to me? Did you even love me?" She yelled, her voice cracking. She didn't even realize he'd walked towards her and before she knew it he was standing in front of her.

"Baby–"

"Don't call me that!" She finally broke down, screaming at this point, "I'm not your baby anymore!" She sobbed, losing her balance and falling but he caught her, grabbing her and pulling her close to him. She weakly pushed him off but he held onto her tightly. Eventually, she stopped struggling and just let him hold her. She almost hugged him back but she chose not to, still crying her eyes out.

"Don't touch me!" She came to her senses, shoving him away after a moment. She walked to the other side of the room, still sniffling but her anger was coming back now. "I saw you y'know, with that girl at Blowfish. You really moved on that damn quick?" She threw questions out at him, not giving him a chance to reply while he was still confused as to what girl she was talking about.

"Lourdes, what girl are you talking about? I'm not talking or fucking anyone bruh, I don't know what you saw," He said calmly but she wasn't even retaining anything he was saying to her.

"Why are you lying? I saw you–"

"Whatever you 'saw' wasn't correct," He cut her off and she rolled her eyes, scoffing.

"I know what I saw," She insisted and he genuinely tried to think back to what girl she could possibly be talking about, The only thing he really remembered from that night was chasing after her. After he replayed the night in his mind, the realization hit him like a ton of bricks when it finally registered that she was talking about Destiny.

"You talking 'bout Destiny? Lo, she has a damn girlfriend. Why would I be flirting with her?"

Lourdes was silent, taking this in while Rashir sighed, taking a seat on the bed. The screaming match wasn't getting them anywhere and he was getting frustrated. He just needed her to listen to what he was saying but she was automatically on defense, not really hearing what he was saying.

"Oh," She let out quietly, still staying in the corner, looking down at the floor while he stared at her. Her anger was beginning to fizzle out and she was upset again. She felt defeated and stupid. She'd let her assumptions control her emotions and she ended up being loud and wrong.

"Rashir?" She said quietly.

"Hm?"

"Did you miss being single? Is that why you broke up with me?"

"You know that's not true," Rashir sighed.

"Then why?" She asked, genuinely sounding broken and he felt horrible.

"Lo, come here man," He beckoned her over and she hesitantly walked over to him, but he ended up reaching out and pulling her onto his lap, surprising her. "I love you and you know that, but you don't ever tell me shit. You can't keep all the shit you feeling inside of you and not tell anyone, that shit ain't healthy. I get that sometimes you don't wanna talk and that's fine, but eventually you gon' have to get it all out there. Instead of telling me what's going on, you get drunk to deal wit' it and that's not okay. I wanna be there for you and help you, but I can't help you if I'on know what's going on," He finished softly.

Lourdes didn't reply, taking a moment to let everything that he was telling her sink in. Deep down, she knew what he was saying was true, she just didn't want to admit it.

"You still haven't told me everything 'bout yo' past and that's okay Lo, but you keeping secrets now, and that's not," He finished, grabbing her chin so she could look him in the eyes since she'd been avoiding eye contact, "You get me?" He asked.

"Yeah," She mumbled, "I'm sorry Rashir, you know how hard it is for me to tell other people what I'm going through. I'm used to just dealing with it myself, I feel like I'm burdening you if I ask you for help or rant to you about it,"

"Lo, I'm yo' damn boyfriend. How would you be burdening me with something? You know I would drop everything to help you, don't ever be afraid to ask me for shit," He said firmly. When she didn't respond he nudged her, making sure she understood what he was saying. "You heard me?"

"Yeah I heard you," She nodded.

"Aight good. We cool now? I missed you,"

"I missed you too," She smiled.

"You gon' stop giving me that lil' fake attitude now?" He asked and she laughed, covering her face. "You a mean ass lil' girl, you know that? Had me ready to cry and shit,"

"It's not my fault!"

"How?"

"You were mean first," She poked his chest and he chuckled.

"You know, we not officially not back together yet," He said.

"Why not?"

"You gotta seal sumn like that wit' a kiss," He said with a dumb smirk on his face, but she chose to play along.

"Oh really?" She raised her eyebrows and he nodded while staring at her lips. "I don't know sir, I've never heard of anything like that. What sources did you get your information from? I don't think they're very reliable,"

"My sources very reliable," He said, licking his lips.

"Well if you say so," She shrugged and he took that as the green light, grabbing her face and pulling her into him, touching their lips softly. As soon as their lips touched, it genuinely felt like she was coming home. She missed how his lips felt and how he always found a way to touch her ass when they kissed. She opened her mouth slightly, wrapping her arms around his neck, and scooted up on his lap, making him groan and grab her hips. When she 'accidentally' rocked back and forth, he pinched her thigh and she smiled against his lips.

Just when he reached up to unzip her jacket, the door swung open, revealing their entire friend group staring at them with slack jaws. Lourdes turned around, startled while Rashir rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed they were interrupted.

"Ooh, they kissing," Nico pointed at them and Lourdes hid her face in Rashir's neck and he chuckled.

"Get out," He said simply. And the group didn't need to be told twice, beginning to walk down the stairs murmuring something about how horny they were, except for Gianna who did not want them doing anything on her bed. Lourdes heard her complaining as someone closed the door, letting them resume what they were doing in peace.

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hey y'all! short chapter for y'all today, next one is gonna be better though! don't forget to vote and comment!

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