Chapter 21

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SECOND CHAPTER IN A DAY ... SAY WHAT?! This was originally supposed to be included in Chapter 20, but when I sat down to write it, I realized it was much longer than I had originally planned for. So, I decided to break it up into two separate chapters. ***(TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains some adult scenes - really PG-13, but whatever. If you feel like it will make you uncomfortable, just read to the '~' and then stop.)*** If you don't think you'll mind it, then by all means, read on to the end! :)

"Would you like a drink?" Josef asked, taking off his uniform coat as they walked through the front door of his house. Laying it over the sofa, he disappeared into the kitchen. They had left the party, slipping out one of the back doors of the banquet hall without anyone noticing, and had walked the few blocks from the War Office, to Josef's flat.

"I'll take a whiskey," Mila called, eyeing the Knight's Cross pinned to the front of his uniform. Picking the jacket up off the sofa, she examined it, memories of the first time she had laid eyes on the medal flooding her mind. "I haven't seen you wear this since the night we met," She said, rounding the corner into the kitchen, Josef's jacket still in her hands.

"Hmm?" Josef asked, turning around, a glass of whiskey in each hand. "Oh," He said, his eyes falling on the Knight's Cross. "I only wear it for special occasions. Ceremonies ... Banquets ... Things like that."

"Why?" Mila asked, genuinely wondering why he wouldn't wear it all the time - Any other German officer would, that she was certain of.

"Because I don't deserve it," He replied simply, though his tone was tenser than before.

"What do you mean you don't deserve it?" Mila asked, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. Was he feigning  humility? ... Trying not to brag?

"I don't," He said flatly, sliding her glass across the table to her.

"I'm sure that's not tru-" She began.

"Just drop it Mila," He cut in harshly, taking the jacket from her and tossing it through the doorway, back into the living room.

"Josef..." She trailed off, placing a hand gently against his arm.

"I'm sorry," He began, running a frustrated hand over his face. "I didn't mean to-,"

"It's okay," She cut him off, squeezing his arm lightly.

"Come on," He said, taking her hand and leading her back into the living room. Sitting down on the sofa, he took a long pull from his whiskey. "Do you want to know how I got that Knight's Cross?" He asked, sitting his glass down on the side table.

"You don't have to-," She began.

"I want to," He assured her. "The ambush my unit encountered in France ... When Michael..." He trailed off. She nodded, signaling that he didn't have to explain further. "We only suffered two casualties during the whole fight," He continued. "Every other man made it off that field, whether he walked away, or was carried off by a fellow soldier. Everyone called me a hero ... They said it was only because of my leadership during such a crisis, that more men hadn't been killed," He scoffed, shaking his head. "The only person who knew the truth was my Lieutenant that had to pull me off the field," He continued, taking another sip from his glass. "He knew the truth, but said nothing ... Just let everyone believe that it was me who had taken charge during the ambush."

"It was your brother ... No one would blame you for not thinking clearly after witnessing what you did," She said, placing a comforting hand on his knee.

"It wouldn't've mattered," He shook his head. "It was my job to lead those men, and I failed ... And the worst part is, I was rewarded for it ... Honored for bravery I didn't have..." He trailed off, silence filling the room.

"I'm sorry," Mila said after a moment, and she truly was. Sorry for judging him so harshly the first time she had found the Knight's Cross ... Sorry for being so dishonest with him when he had been so truthful with her. She wished she could tell him everything ... Who she really was ... The things she had done that haunted her dreams ... The things she had seen.

"What's done is done," Josef said matter-of-factly, though his expression seemed less strained than before. "That's why I put in for a transfer. I couldn't stay in France ... Not after failing so miserably ... Not after losing Michael."

"For what its worth," She began, scooting closer to him on the sofa. "I think moving on after losing someone you love takes more bravery than any battle you could ever fight ... I would know," She added softly, giving him a sympathetic smile.

Josef smiled back at her, leaning in until their foreheads were touching. "Thank you," He said softly, planting a fleeting kiss against her lips. She closed her eyes, kissing him back, her stomach coursing with a million knots as she melted against his lips. "It's getting late," He said, pulling away and standing to his feet, grasping Mila's hand to help her up. "I'll walk you home."

~

"Or I could stay," She said, the words tumbling out before she could stop herself. Josef turned around, his eyes locking with hers. "I'm sorry," She began, the warmth of a blush creeping up her neck as she gazed back at him. "That was horribly inappropriate of m-,"

"Don't be sorry," He cut in, studying her intently, his eyes filled with something Mila couldn't quite place. Slowly, he brought a hand up, resting it against her cheek, his eyes searching hers. Leaning in, he pressed his lips against her's.

Closing her eyes, she kissed him back, her breath hitching in her throat as Josef's arms slipped around her waist, pulling her against him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she laced her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. Pulling away after a moment, he looked down at her, his eyes searching her's once again.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," He said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, his fingertips lingering against her skin.

"I want to," She said emphatically, her voice but a whisper as she tried to slow the racing heartbeat within her chest. She nodded, giving him the answer to the silent question that hung in the air. Taking her hand in his, he lead her down the hall, opening the door to his bedroom. He lead her inside, and turned to face her, slipping his arms around her waist.

"Are you sure?" He asked, gazing down at her. She nodded, placing her hands against his chest. Leaning down, he kissed her, this time harder, more passionately. She kissed him back, her body pressing against his as he pulled her close. His hands gripped her waist firmly, his lips leaving hers, placing a trail of kisses down the hollow of her neck. She drew in a deep breath, her mind growing hazy as his lips traced over her collarbone. Bringing her hands up to the back of his head, she laced her fingers through his hair, leaning her head back as his lips traveled up to her ear.

Her mind grew foggier as their lips reconnected. Letting go of his hair, she brought her hands back down to his chest. With shaky fingers, she began fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, her mind swimming as his tongue found hers. One by one, she unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it back after she had undone the last one. Josef released her waist, sliding his arms out of the sleeves, the shirt falling to the floor. Breaking their kiss, he stepped back, slipping his undershirt over his head and dropping it to the floor as well.

Mila stared at him, her cheeks flushing a light pink as she took in the chiseled muscles of his chest, her eyes lingering on the single scar just below his ribs . She had seen him without a shirt on of course, but not like this. Swallowing down the butterflies rising within her stomach, she placed her hands against his chest, running them down the length of his torso, stopping when she reached the waistband of his trousers.

Placing a hand underneath her chin, he pulled her face up to look at him. "Your hands are shaking," He said softly, taking her hands in his own.

"Just nervous," She said shakily, her heart pounding.

"We can stop," He began.

"No," She shook her head. "I don't want to stop."

Josef nodded, brushing his fingertips against her cheek, pressing his lips against her's softly. She kissed him back. Bringing her hands down to his pants, she fumbled with the belt buckle. His hands grasped her's gently. "Slow down," He whispered against her ear, his breath sending a chill down her spine.

Gripping her waist, he spun her around, his lips grazing her ear as they trailed down her neck to her collarbone, and back up, sucking softly on the skin just below her ear. Grasping the zipper on the back of her dress, he slid it down slowly. Slipping her arms out of the straps, the fabric slid down her frame, to the floor, a shiver coursing down her spine as the cold air hit her exposed skin.

"You're so beautiful," Josef breathed, his eyes scanning down her body as she turned around to face him, the chemise she had been wearing underneath her dress, not even reaching her knees.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her close, and walked her backwards towards the bed. Laying her down gently, he stepped back, undoing his belt and unfastening his trousers, sliding them down and stepping out of them.

Mila drew in a deep breath as he climbed on top of her, all his weight resting on one of his elbows. Leaning in, his lips found hers. His hand cupped her face, his thumb rubbing small circles over her cheek while his other hand rested against her thigh. Slipping it underneath the thin fabric of her chemise, he slid it up, causing her breath to hitch in her throat once again.

"I think I love you," Josef said against her lips, his gaze meeting hers.

"I think I love you too," Mila whispered back, pressing her lips against his, the world around her fading away.

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