Chapter 6

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"I'll have the bacon cheeseburger, dressed with onion rings." I watched as Luke handed over the menus and both him and the waitress turned to me.

"I'll take a hamburger, plain with fries. Please."

"Alright boys, sit tight. It'll be just a bit."

I look back at Luke and he's got an odd look on his face. "What?"

He laughs. "Well, a plain hamburger is a disgrace and I'm thinking about taking you home now."

I giggle. "While I wholeheartedly agree, most dairy products don't agree with my intestines. So I try to steer clear."

"Damn shame, that is."

"Tell me about it."

I take a sip of my water while he studies me.

"So what are your plans now?"

"I'm not sure. I've got so much free time on my hands I don't really know what to do with it. I want to renovate the house, so I can sell it down the road if I decide I don't want to live there. I thought about getting a job, going back to school. But I'm not sure what I would go back for. So many options, it's honestly almost too stressful to think about." Even talking about the future now had my stomach in knots.

Luke noticed, giving me a kind smile. "You've got plenty of time to be figuring it out. There's no specific way to live life, so whatever you lean towards the most, just do it and see what happens. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Nobody has any expectations of you except you. And from what I've seen, those are way too high to begin with. You just dealt with the death of your parents, and however strained your relationship was with them, they were still your parents. So start with one thing at a time. Deal with their death and what they did to you first and then maybe it will be easier to focus on the future." He leaned back and studied me as I took in what he said.

"That's nice, but it's all easier said than done. I've spent years trying to 'deal' with my childhood. Therapy, group sessions, even moving away was me trying to distance myself  from them and that house. I-" I stopped as the waitress came up to the table with our food.

"Here ya go, if you need anything else just let me know!"

The heavy conversation left me with little to no appetite as I watched Luke pick his burger up. I picked up a fry and popped it in my mouth. I looked at him and realized he was waiting for me to continue. When I said nothing he leaned forward.

"Do you think living in the house is a good idea?"

"Right now? Honestly, no. But where can I go? What other option do I have? And it seems like a waste to pay to live somewhere else when I have that huge house as an option. I'm hoping that those renovations I'm doing will help me be able to live there long-term more easily." I looked back up at him to realize he was watching me move my fries around the plate.

"You need to eat. It doesn't look like you've had a proper meal in days. Or a good nights sleep. What do you need from me to make this easier for you? I want to help you, but you gotta let me in, Manny."

I cleared my throat and pushed the plate away from me. I didn't say anything as he flagged the waitress down and asked for a to-go box. She came back with the box and the checks, handing one to each of us. He held out his hand for my check.

"What? I'm not gonna make you pay for the food I wasted. I've got money in my wallet I can use. Thanks, though."

"Check, now. I'm sure you've got money to cover it, but I'm paying for this. So hand it over." The command in his voice sent goosebumps down my arms and I watched as he handed the checks back to her. "Keep the change." He stood up and handed me his jacket. "Here, it's raining and you with your little attitude didn't grab a jacket that was near thick enough."

I grabbed the jacket and looked at him sheepishly. "Thanks." We walked out to the truck and I jumped into the passenger side. As he started it up, an idea hit me. I held my hands in front of the heat now coming out of the vents. "You asked if there was anything you could help me with.."

"Yes?'

"Well, and this is a little embarrassing to admit, but I don't know how to drive and I don't have a license. Could you teach me how to drive? I never had the need for a car in the city, with the subways and everything being in walking distance. But I've got some money now that could buy me a car and I'm gonna need one if I'm here very long. I can't go to school or get a job if I have no way to get there."

He laughed. "You're rambling. Of course I'll teach you. I have to work the next few days but I can come over after or wait until Saturday?"

"Uh, Saturday is fine. Thank you." I look out the window as he continues towards my house.

He clears his throat. "Can I ask you something a bit personal?"

I laugh. "A bit late for personal, don't you think?"

He scratches the back of his neck. "I suppose. You mentioned earlier about how you had attended therapy before.." He pauses and I pick at my fingers waiting for him to finish. "When was your last session?"

"Right before I moved to the city. Couple years now, I guess."

He nods his head. "Have you thought about going back, since you're back in town now?"

"Are you saying I need therapy?"

He laughed nervously. "Well, uh, I don't necessarily, um-"

I giggle. "Relax, I'm joking. I actually have thought about it. I picked up the phone last week to call him, but chickens out at the last minute and never dialed his number."

"What made you stop?"

"Well, when I was doing it, it was very beneficial for me. But there was always this part of me that thought therapy made me so weak and if I was a stronger person I wouldn't need it. So going back now.." I shrugged. "It just makes me feel like a failure, that I've sunk low enough again to need it."

He pulled his truck into the driveway, shutting off and turning towards me. "You know thats bullshit right?"

I let out a long sigh. "Yes. But that doesn't make it any easier to stop feeling it." I jump out of the truck and make my way to the front door. I turn around to talk to him but am surprised to see that he's following me inside. I can feel his unanswered question still hanging in the air, so I turn to him. "Yes, I think it would be beneficial and I will make time to call his office tomorrow."

I can immediately see the affect my words have on him and his mood seems brighter. "Good, good. So..." He looks around the front room and kitchen. "You want to take off the rest of these boxes?"

I grin. "Yes please, the sooner I get everything out the better."

We both grab a load of boxes and head to the back of the truck.

"So what are you planning with the furniture?"

"I got in touch with a second hand furniture shop a few towns over and they're coming to pick it all up Saturday morning. Anything you see that you want, go ahead and just take it. I'm just giving it away to them."

We take a few more loads from the dining room and pack them into the truck. We finish off the day by taking several more loads to the dump and the shelter I'm donating too.

That night I lay on the couch, exhausted, and I smile. Today was a good day.

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