Chapter 14

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As my conscience slowly returns, I bury my head into the pillow, trying to block out the light that was trying to burn a hole through my eyelids. I nuzzled further in, and the events of yesterday came rushing back. I sat straight up in the bed, my eyes wide open looking around the room. As I replayed the entire night, my cheeks reddened as I recalled all three of our kisses. The sunlight was pouring in from the window in front of the bed, lighting up the whole room.

How late is it? I stood up, stretched, and headed to the bathroom. Where is Luke? And why does it feel like I've slept for a week? After I relieve myself, I started off down the hall, trying to remember the layout of his house. My eyes wandered down the hallway as I headed towards what I was hoping was the kitchen.

My eyes locked on the picture sitting on the table at the very end of the hall. My body froze and all the color drained from my face. I picked up the frame, unable to help myself, even though I knew exactly who I was looking at. The picture was taken about 5 years ago, on Amanda's insistence they needed an updated set of photos. I couldn't tear my eyes away, Luke's broad frame sitting on a stool in the forefront of the frame. Amanda's arms were wrapped tightly around his neck. Eva was standing beside them, about 16, all three of them wearing huge smiles.

My whole body deflated as I sat the picture down. What was I thinking? If he has this picture out in his NEW house that he bought after she left, what does that mean for me? I know they were together a long time, but I'm not emotionally strong enough to deal with someone who could always leave me for someone else. This would never work, I should have known better.

"Well I would have thought someone who slept as long as you did would have woken up in a better mood." His deep voice startles me out of my thoughts, and I snap my head towards him, trying to force a smile.

"How long was I asleep?" I wince at how scratchy my voice sounds. Partly because I had just woken up, but partly because I was trying so hard not to break down in tears in front of him.

His sets down the knife to whatever he is cooking, narrowing his eyes at me. His eyes feel too intense, like they can see straight through me. I look down, afraid if I kept looking at him, I would break down. I can hear his footsteps getting close, but I refuse to look up. His fingers grasp my chin, forcing my head up to meet his eyes. He searches my eyes as he finally answers my question.

"About 11 hours give or take." He tilts my head to one side and then the other. "How long have you not been sleeping for? Your dark circles are still under your eyes." He takes a finger and gently traces underneath my eyes as he speaks. I close my eyes and revel in his touch, the gentle feeling of his hands on me.

The picture pops back into my mind and I take a step back, making him drop his hands. "I have to go."

His eyes narrow and I see them lock on something behind me before realization clicks. "Manny.."

I shake my head. "No, I don't want to hear it. I just want out please." He steps directly in front of me, hands reached out toward me. I can feel my eyes welling up already. I wipe my eyes angrily. "God dammit!"

He quickly closes in on me, caging me against the bookshelf. His hands are on me, wiping my eyes, drawing me into his chest.

"I need you to calm down, and look into my eyes." He grabs my face and tilts upward. I'm trapped in his serious gaze, searing straight through me. "That picture does not mean what you think it does, okay?" He wipes my cheeks again. "Now, lets quit crying and talk about it over lunch."

I swat his hands away, shaking my head. "No, I don't think so. I think I should just go.  This has already went further than it ever should've." My hands are flailing, desperately struggling to get free from the weight keeping me held against the bookcase.

"Stop!" The clear, calm, loud command echoes through the house and I immediately freeze. The quiet around us is deafening and I don't know what just happened. My eyes are focused downcast, not daring to even look close to his direction. His hand slowly travels up my arms, eventually stopping to cradle my head in his hands. "Breathe, honey." Upon hearing his words, I realize that I had been holding my breath, and quickly release it.

My head falls forward, landing on his chest. I took a deep breath. "I just think it would be better for the both of us if we just stop this now and you let me go home. I don't have to tell anyone." As I force the sentence out, my brain is screaming that this is the last thing I want but I try to keep my face void of emotion. This is what is best, after all.

His hold on me loosens until I feel his arms drop completely as he steps back from me. I can feel my heart beat slowly speeding up as he continues to say nothing. I try to keep my panic internal as he takes another step back.

This is good, this is what I want, I remind myself. I can almost hear my subconscious laugh at the blatant lie.

"Hmm." I jump at the sudden sound of his voice, still refusing to meet his eyes. I hear him moving and look up in time to see him closing the door to his bedroom, the sound of the latch echoing down the hallway, seeming to signal the finality of what had just happened. I stare at his door, unsure now what to do.

My eyes begin to fill with tears and I realize that I have to get out of here soon if I don't want him to hear me go full meltdown. I realize my shoes are still in his room, but there was no way in hell I was going back there just to ask for my shoes. I grimace as I look out the window and see the rain coming down.  Of course my jacket was also more than likely back there with him and it was going to be a very uncomfortable walk home.

I feel the tears spill over my cheeks and I rush to the door, worried he will come out and see what a mess I am. I go running across his porch when I feel a sharp pain and suddenly I'm on the ground.

"Fuck!" My foot is throbbing and I look down to see a gash in the bottom of my right foot, blood generously pouring from the wound. I just sat there, wondering when I was going to stop making a mess of everything. Last night was one of the happiest nights of my life, and now today I'm sitting outside alone in the rain, crying, and bleeding to death.

I feel a hysterical giggle make its way past my lips at how dramatic I can be. The tears are now streaming down my face and I contemplate just laying back but decide that Luke seeing me like this was not what I wanted. I slowly pull myself up, and try to take a step, but the weight on my foot causes me to go down.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

I startle at his voice as I look up and see him heading my way, the look of frustration on his face making me want to crawl in a hole and disappear. I quickly try to scramble back into my feet as he gets closer, only to go down again when I try to take a step.

"Manny!" I feel arms around me before I can hit the ground, and then I'm being carried back inside.

I listen to his heartbeat as he carries me through the house, finally sitting me on the bathroom counter. He pulls out what I assume to be a first aide kit and starts working on my foot.

The silence is deafening and I want to be anywhere else but here right now.

"Manny, baby, quit crying okay? Everything is fine, I'm sorry."

I touch my cheek and sure enough, the traitor tears had been falling down my face. I say nothing as he carefully bandages my foot and let's it drop to hang beside the other.

He places a hand on my cheeks, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that are still rolling. "Shhh. I'm not going anywhere, now calm down."

The words, meant to calm me, seem to have the opposite effect as a sob bursts past my lips and suddenly I'm shaking.

His arms come around me again and he hold me to his chest. "Hush now. It's alright." He begins to whisper in my ear, rubbing my back as he presses me into his chest. "I'm going to start talking, now I want you to listen, okay?"

I nod, and he sighs after I decide to stay silent.

"I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you. And I know you don't want to, that all that shit you were saying was just that. I just wanted you to see your body's honest reaction to me leaving. I wanted to show you how much you want this." His hand come up to cradle my face once more, angling my head up, forcing me to meet his eyes. He wipes away more tears as a soft chuckle leaves him. "Of course, you running away is not what I thought you would do. And imagine my surprise when I go out there and you're about to try to walk away, barefoot, and bleeding everywhere! Honestly Manny, it's raining and you weren't even going to ask me for your shoes or jacket?"

I duck my head into his chest as my cheeks burn red from embarrassment. "I was already crying and didn't want you to see."

His arms tighten around me, squeezing gently. "And I never wanted to see you cry or hurt yourself." He sighs but does not loosen his hold. "I know this is scary for you, especially because of Eva. But I want this." The red has traveled to the tops of my ears and I can feel them burning against his shirt. "And I know you do too. You are cute as a button but not so subtle about your feelings toward me." He leans down, his warm breath against my ear. "You never have been. And that is fine with me." I shiver as his breath fans across me and I refuse to look his way.

He finally relaxes his hold and I take a deep-

"Ah!" I am suddenly in the air as he packs me into the den, sitting me on the couch, swinging my legs around to lay across him as he sits down.

My face is still aflame as we look at each other in silence. My eyes drift to that same damn picture and I'm reminded what started this all.

He sighs and I look back to realize he had followed my gaze.

"Now let's talk about Amanda."

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