Chapter 21

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Georgia placed her glasses back on her nose and turned towards Diana and Carrie. She couldn't help her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks but she did her best to regain her composure. "Did you want to review where we were on the party?" she asked as she moved back towards the table.

"Was Mr. Mailler hugging you?" Carrie asked, her eyes rounded in awe.

"Yes," Georgia said, unwilling to elaborate which caused there to be a tense silence.

"Carrie, would you please leave us alone. I need to talk to Georgia in private."

Carrie looked from one to the other than nodded as she slowly left the room. Georgia had little doubt that she was running off to tell what she had just witnessed to the first person she could find.      

Georgia sat in the chair at the table while Diana paced the room, looking at this and that, not saying a word. "Diana, it's alright, ask your questions. You need to know."

Diana spun around to face her, a look of hurt on her face. It was a look she had never seen on Diana before.  She was honestly upset and for Georgia it was a relief to see. She had always known that Diana had deeper feelings than she let on about. Many times she had defended the girl to Ewan, saying that she was lost and needed direction. Now she had confirmation that what she had felt was true.

"And you'll be honest just like you were the first time I asked you, right?" Bitterness hung on every word.

"I know it was semantics, but I was not, at that time of your question, having a relationship with your brother. It was understood that there was no place for it here, in the real world." Georgia swept her arm around her.

Diana was staring at her hard and she looked so much like Ewan at that moment that she couldn't help the sad smile that stole across her lips.

"What!" Diana demanded as she caught the look.

"You look so much like your brother right now. You're wearing the same obstinate look that he gets when he's not happy with me."

Diana suddenly broke into tears and fell onto the little settee behind her. Georgia rose and moved to sit beside her, taking her in her arms and letting her cry, and Georgia's tears started all over again. "I know, Diana. I do know." And she did.

"Why can't he love me, why do you know him so much better than I do? He's my brother, my family, and I've never known him, he has always been a stranger. I used to blame the age difference but that's not it is it?"

"No, that's not it. Why don't you ask your questions and I'll do my best to answer them and this time I'll be honest no matter how much it hurts you or me. I think maybe you'll find some of your answers that way."

Diana nodded sniffing as she pulled away and sat facing her. Georgia followed her lead and turned to face her keeping her body language as open as possible.

"When did it start? Why? How? How often?"

Georgia cleared her throat. "It started after about a year. I had to travel back to the U.S. to keep my work visa, Ewan was on the same flight as I was and we had a layover in Dublin. We talked, admitted to a mutual attraction, and our loneliness took care of the rest."

"Ewan, lonely?" Diana snorted her doubt.

"He's very lonely Diana. Who does he have? All he does is work and take care of others. There's no time for him.  Together we made time." Diana looked at her and she could guess her next question so she answered it. "One week every year at my beach cottage. When we came home that was it until the next year."

"If you love him like you claim too, how could you stand it?"

Georgia shrugged looking down at her hands. "I loved him, I took what I could get. But it turns out we both broke a promise. A promise not to fall in love.  All we had was one week a year and no more. I wanted so much more and it turned out so did he, but we were both too scared of losing what little we had, making us both afraid to share how much more we wanted."

"I don't understand."

"I was told, by your brother, that it would only be a week, that it could never work in the real world. That he didn't want it to. I was still in love with my husband so I was O.K. with that, to begin with."

"When did it all change? When was it not O.K., when did you want more."

"After that first week, but I had made a deal, a promise, and I wanted Ewan so much that I decided that I would take what I could get and keep my mouth shut. Turns out it was the same for him. It was Reggie who outed me to your brother." She shook her head at the memory. "I've never seen him so mad."

"Mad?"

"Yes, he was mad at the time we had lost."

"But you can't marry him!"

Georgia swallowed hard. "I know that. I've told him the same."

Diana's mouth dropped open at her comment. "He's asked you to marry him?"

"No, but he's threatened to." Realizing how ridiculous that sounded Georgia smiled.

Diana stood up and started pacing her thoughts a mystery to Georgia as she watched so many emotions flit across her face. "Why do you think he hates me?"

"In one of the first conversations I had with your brother he stated that he loved you, that you were spoiled, but he loved you."

Diana started to cry harder at her words. "What can I do?"

"Try to understand your brother.  He was hurt  very badly in the military and..." Georgia hesitated debating whether she should continue or not.  The chances of Diana and Ewan ever having this conversation were unlikely and she had to know the truth from someone, but still it wasn't her story to tell.

"Please Georgia." Diana looked like a little girl as she grabbed Georgia's hands begging her to continue.

"Did you know your father well?" Georgia squeezed her hands on reflex.

"No, he died when I was little." Diana jumped up again returning to the empty fireplace, as if it held all the answers that she sought.

"He was hard on Ewan, he demanded perfection and Ewan, well after the war he was no longer perfect, and he developed a shell to keep others away, to keep others from seeing his imperfections. Plus, I think he gets a little bit of enjoyment out of shocking people with his rudeness. He finds humor in their reactions."

"But that's cruel, and how is Ewan less than perfect? I've never seen it."

"Perhaps, but in his defense he deals with some awful people."

"Like Gwen." Diana gave a shudder of revulsion.

"Don't be too hard on her. Your brother is hard to resist."

Georgia paused as she heard the door open and turned to see Ewan enter.

"How is he less than perfect? Please tell me?" Diana asked as she looked into the empty fireplace, not having heard the door open.

Ewan looked at her as he closed the door and nodded for her to continue as he watched her and his sister's reactions.

"The war hurt him. He has PTSD, which is why I kissed him at the party. I knew the fireworks were a trigger and... he's physically scarred."

Georgia was silent as she and Ewan looked at each other.

"How was he physically scarred? Was he shot or something?" Diana kicked at the hearth plate, her soft leather shoes getting a tiny bit of ash on them but she seemed not to notice.

"He was involved in a bomb blast they call it an IED."

"He looks whole." Diana words reminded her so much of what Ewan had said that first night when he had demanded that she ask what was wrong with him, that it was what everyone asked.

Georgia kept looking at Ewan not saying a word not knowing what to say. At her silence Diana turned around and saw Ewan standing there and her face grew red, but whether it was embarrassment or some other emotion Georgia couldn't tell.

Ewan's face had turned to stone at her words, his defenses automatically going up out of habit.

"Stop Ewan," Georgia said, "she's young, she doesn't understand, she's been sheltered, she can't be expected to. Please don't put up the walls again." Georgia rose not sure what to do. It had to be Ewan's choice now. He had to help his sister understand.

The siblings watched each other and Georgia watched them, praying, she knew that this was their chance. She thought it ended when Ewan turned around but instead of walking out he reached behind him and started to pull up the back part of his shirt, allowing Diana to see the puckered and burnt skin on his back. It wasn't as bad as his front, and she was aware that he was shielding himself from having to look at her as she saw the damage.

Georgia felt a tear sneak out, knowing how hard the moment was for him. When she heard Diana gasp she turned to look at her and she was crying again. "Does it still hurt?"

"No." His voice sounded gruff as he lowered his shirt.

"I didn't know." She shook her head. "Why didn't I know? You had to have been in the hospital, Father had to have known, Mother too, they never told me."

"No, they wouldn't have. It was never discussed."

Diana looked truly upset. "Collin, is he the same?"

"No." Ewan's voice was expressionless as he watched his sister.

"Ewan saved Collin's life that day." Georgia knew Ewan wouldn't tell her but it was important to Georgia that Diana knew her brother was a hero.  No one had ever given him credit for it except his fellow brothers in arms.

"You must think I'm horrible Ewan," Diana said, her face contorted with self-loathing.

"No, I don't think that Diana, you're my sister and I love you, but your Mother and our Father never curbed you. You haven't ever experienced the real world and you'll never be content and happy until you do." Ewan was watching her closely as she turned back towards the fireplace.

"You're right," she agreed softly.

Georgia walked over and began to gather her things. "I'll be busy today and I leave for the country tomorrow morning to prepare everything. Is there anything else that you need from me before I go?" The moment was awkward but the only way was to push through it.

"No," Diana said softly, "thank you Georgia," She turned to face her. "I mean that, thank you for everything."

Georgia just nodded as she left Ewan and Diana alone. She didn't look at or touch him as she walked past him. It wasn't about him or her it was about him and his sister.


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