I'm trying my best not to get upset with Beckett. I know he's struggling. His panic attack earlier has only enhanced the truth of that fact. It's just hard for me to sit here and watch him allow his dad to continue to hurt him the way he does. Especially when Beckett won't even let me do anything about it.

"Are you staying?"

I perched myself on the end of Beckett's bed and have just been sitting here thinking for the last couple minutes. I hadn't even noticed he'd gotten up. The towel from the floor is gone and he's in a new, dry set of clothes.

"Yeah, I'll stay"

I pause glancing at the bathroom, remembering before. Maybe he doesn't want me to stay.

"Unless you don't want me to.."

Beckett shakes his head immediately and steps closer to me.

"No I do. I'm going to nap"

I nod slowly clenching his bed sheets in my hands on either side of me. I don't want to rush him, but I desperately want to hold him. Comfort him. Just make him understand that despite the rough exterior and anger I express toward his father I'm not mad at him. I care about him, I'm worried, I love him.

Beckett tilts his head slightly before stepping forward again so our toes are almost touching.

"Beckett?"

He bites his lip looking shy, dropping his eyes slightly so he's looking at me through his lashes. I love when he does that, acts shy. He's a lot more tough and assertive then he thinks he is so when he gets flustered it's cute.

I'm nearly knocked on to the bed when he finally wraps his arms around me and tucks his face into my neck hugging me. As soon as I've balanced myself I wrap my arms around him as well and he sighs deeply against me. We stay like that pressed against one another, our breathing in sync until finally Beckett pulls away and nods.

"I'm okay now"

I give him a soft smile.

"That's good baby"

His cheeks blush and he moves to the other side of the bed pulling the blankets back.

"Um...are you going to..?"

I chuckle and climb in bed beside him.

"Yeah I could sleep, need my strength if I'm going to be fighting for your honour  tomorrow"

He rolls into me and groans against my chest.

"No Jasper"

I chuckle and rub my hand through his hair.

"I'm kidding go to sleep"

••

An hour later I'm woken up by my phone ringing loudly. Beckett is asleep on my chest and I scramble to grab my phone answering it so it will stop ringing. Immediately shushing whoever is on the other end.

"Shhhh! Be quiet"

I manoeuvre myself out from under Beckett without waking him and go into his bathroom closing the door so I don't wake him up. As soon as I look down at my phone my eyes widen.

Maggie's face is staring back at mine grinning.

"I knew it! I knew something was up!"

I'm staring at her not sure what to say, kind of shellshocked if we're being honest. This was not the way I planned on Maggie finding out.

"Um"

She's laughs hysterically before waving her hands.

"You and Beckett?!"

I decide my best route is to deflect with humour and that's what I try to do.

"What do you mean? We're just napping...guys nap with their bros Maggie"

She gives me a look and I move the phone so she can't see my face. Deflecting with humour clearly didn't work and I don't know how to make this conversation comfortable for me. I was not mentally prepared for this.

"Jasper Andrew Collins! Turn the camera back right now!"

I wince when she uses her mom voice and turn the phone so she can see me. I watch her awkwardly trying to keep up my unbothered attitude in case she says something I don't want to hear, but her face changes and her voice softens.

"Hey. Why do you look so worried?"

I shrug, I don't want to admit to my sister I'm scared that she'll hate me. Or that she'll think I'm disgusting. That despite the fact that shes never doubted me and has only ever supported me my whole life I'm terrified she won't support me through this. The thing that matters most.

I won't tell her that though. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I know Maggie has gay friends, I know it's just my self doubt talking, but there's an inkling inside of me that worries her acceptance is limited to those outside of her family. So I settle for a simple "I don't know"

Of course Maggie knows me better then that.

"Are you scared I'll be upset?"

There's something about Maggie that always makes me feel like my eight year old self. She's just always been my big sister and I've always felt safe around her, even now. It's hard for me to stay confident and unbothered with her.

I mumble a half hearted "I guess" and her face is sad.

"Jasper. I would never be upset at you for something like this. I'm so happy for you and excited that you're exploring new things"

I bite my lip and shrug again.

"Okay"

She wipes her eyes and i cringe.

"Are you crying?"

She huffs.

"Don't be a jerk!  I'm sad you thought I would be upset with you!"

I shake my head.

"It's not like I thought you'd be upset, but I was just worried that maybe you might be and I don't want to lose you"

She wipes her eyes and shakes her head.

"You wouldn't lose me you idiot, I'm your sister you're stuck with me forever!"

I chuckle trying to lighten the mood.

"Damn"

She rolls her eyes before smiling again.

"Okay now tell me really why you're sleeping with Beckett"

I smirk and glance toward the door thinking about the sleeping boy behind it.

"I don't know...I love him"

I whisper the last part, but Maggie heard it and she grins.

"What?! How long has this been a thing Jasper!"

I rub the back of my neck awkwardly because admitting to Maggie I've been fooling around with Beckett since before she met him isn't going to go well.

"Uh...pretty much since I got here I guess"

Maggie's eyes widen.

"you're kidding? How did I not know, I mean I started to notice things recently, but seriously?! That long?!"

I chuckle nodding in confirmation. Maggie rolls her eyes.

"Well now it makes sense why you were so aggressive about me dating him"

That makes me chuckle.

"He wouldn't have went out with you anyway"

This has Maggie narrowing her eyes at me.

"We'll obviously not if he was gay"

I shrug.

"He wasn't...not until me anyway"

Maggie makes a face.

"Jasper don't flatter yourself you're not attractive enough to turn someone gay"

I shrug "He turned me gay"

Maggie laughs at that.

"We'll I'm very happy for you"

I smile lightly.

"Thanks, but keep it quiet okay? No one knows except Preston"

She rolls her eyes.

"Of course Preston knows"

I chuckle.

"I gotta go, I'll talk to you later okay?"

Maggie gives me another smile and shouts a quick "I love you!" Before she hangs up.

I walk back into Beckett's room and he's rubbing his eyes.

"Why'd you get up?"

I shrug.

"Maggie called"

He yawns.

"Oh...time?"

I check my phone and nod.

"2:00pm"

He groans rolling over onto his stomach and burying his head into his pillow.

"I'm exhausted"

I chuckle.

"Go back to sleep"

He pushes himself up on his arms and shakes his hair before yawning a second time.

"Can't"

I cross my arms.

"Why not?"

He shrugs sitting up and putting his legs over the side of the bed.

"We'll for one you're awake, and secondly that would be a waste. I have some stuff I need to do"

I narrow my eyes, I don't like that he's being cryptic. Every time he does that it ends up bad.

"What stuff?"

He shrugs standing from his bed and walking past me into the bathroom. I follow him and lean against the doorframe as he attempts to fix his hair.

"Just need to call my school"

I tilt my head watching as he brushes his hair so it sits all proper on his head.

"I thought you dropped out of school"

He nods slowly not looking away from the mirror as he brushes the same spot again.

"I did"

I huff because he's deflecting there's something more to this.

"What's going on Beckett?"

Finally he sighs and turns to me putting the brush down.

"I'm reenrolling to become a lawyer"

The way he says it tells me he's not happy about it. He's expecting me to be upset, but mostly I'm confused.

"You don't even want to be a lawyer though?"

He sighs shaking his head and moving past me.

"Doesn't matter"

I grab his waist turning him so he's facing me.

"Baby, what's going on?"

The minute the word leaves my mouth his face softens and he shakes his head sadly dropping his forehead against my chest and shaking his head.

"Don't argue with me"

I lick my lips pursing them together before I nod worried about what he'll say.

"Okay"

He lets out a shaky breath.

"My dad is expecting me to go back to school"

I nod slowly because I already knew that, we both did.

"Okay?"

He sighs before pulling away from me.

"So I'm going back...I just don't think I can handle him anymore"

I shake my head.

"That's not true Beckett. He can't control your life"

Beckett scoffs as if what I've said is totally ridiculous.

"He can and he does"

I clench my fists at my sides and try not to argue with him, after all I said I wouldn't.

"Beckett. I'm not going to argue with you, but please baby don't make yourself unhappy because of him"

Beckett sighs.

"either way I'm unhappy Jasper, I don't win"

I don't know what to say to that so instead I step forward and drop a kiss on his head.

"You're stronger then you think you are Beckett"

I know he doesn't believe me. He doesn't even bother to respond, but he doesn't argue either so I'll take it.

He steps away from me and nods.

"I'm going to go to the staff lounge to get some work done okay?"

I shrug "whatever"

He tilts his head.

"Are you staying here?"

I shake my head.

"Nah I'll probably see if Brody wants to hit the gym"

Beckett nods and I follow him to his door. He opens it and sticks his head out like we're in some kind of spy movie before he waves me forward.

I chuckle "coast is clear?"

He nods before turning around and rolling his eyes once he realizes I'm being sarcastic.

"I'm trying to keep you out of trouble"

I quickly lean forward and kiss his cheek.

"Appreciate that babe"

With that I walk in the opposite direction towards student dorms so I can find Brody and go down to the gym.

I get to Brody's door and knock loudly before standing back and waiting for him to answer. When he doesn't I knock again and after a while decide he must not be in his room. The only other place I think to check is the dining hall and head down there next.

Low and behold Brody is standing at the counter talking to one of the lunch ladies.

"What are you doing?"

He looks up when he sees me and shrugs grinning.

"Sharon and I are discussing next weeks menu"

I lift a brow and Sharon laughs.

"Not entirely, I am writing next weeks menu and Brody is offering up his preferences"

Brody turns to me as if she's being ridiculous.

"C'mon you can't tell me you wouldn't prefer tacos over Shepards pie?! It's on Tuesday for gods sake!"

I chuckle loudly at that and Sharon rolls her eyes.

"Fine Brody, this is the only time I'm changing the menu for you"

Brody grins "yes! Taco Tuesday!!"

He points at Sharon with both hands.

"Whose the best lunch lady?!"

He reaches over grabbing my hand and pulling me to point at her as well.

"Sharon!!!"

I shake my head at his theatrics and pull my hand back as soon as he lets it go. Sharon laughs along with me and starts waving us away.

"You got what you wanted now go find someone else to bother"

Brody grins "alright alright, see you at dinner!"

We walk away and as we leave the dining hall he nods at me.

"What's up with you? Been MIA all day"

I nod "got brought in for questioning this morning"

Brody stops dead in his tracks turning to me.

"Oh shit! Are you in trouble? Is Beckett going to kick my ass?! I told you not to tell him I told you how to get out!"

I chuckle waving my hands.

"Woah slow down dude, I'm not in trouble and no you don't have to worry about Beckett. He wouldn't kick your ass anyway you're a tough guy"

Brody shakes his head.

"Beckett could definitely kick my ass if he wanted to, I'd bet anyone Beckett's got mad skills hidden beneath that good boy facade"

I chuckle because he's really talking Beckett up and I'm pretty sure what Beckett has hidden under his good boy facade is a tendency to kiss me, but I don't tell Brody that.

"If you say so, want to hit the gym?"

Brody nods.

"If I'm going to have to try and fight off Beckett, then hell yeah"

I laugh at that.

"Let's just go"

•••
What a way for Maggie to find out, she really got the "see it to believe it" experience 😂

Word Count: 2318