2015

I felt like striding into work wearing my Romy and Michelle-style metallic blue mini-dress from the 90s party, but settled for a bright yellow wrap dress. Its brightness matched my mood.

On the train to work, I googled acting classes in Sydney and was excited to see that there were quite a few of them. I breezed into the office formulating my resignation email in my head and then reminded myself that I'd have to find some sort of job to support myself first. Patience Sammy, patience.

Predictably, Viv was in early too, her fingers smashing her keyboard as she typed. I saw her eyes follow me over the top of her computer monitor. The remnants of her Bircher muesli rested in a bowl beside her and headphone wires dangled from her ears.

Today was the day for me to start making some changes – to put the wheels in motion towards the new me and my new life.

'What are you listening to?' I asked, setting my bag down on my desk.

Viv ripped the headphones from her ears and frowned. 'What?'

'What are you listening to?'

She looked annoyed. 'Adele,' she replied gruffly.

She went to jam her headphones back in her ears but my next question caused them to pause mid-air and her face to screw up.

'What's the most embarrassing song in your music library?'

'I don't know.' She sounded defensive. 'What's yours?

'Too many to name. Probably MC Hammer'

'That's sad,' Viv said matter-of-factly. Then she rolled her eyes and sighed. 'Mine's Vanilla ice.'

'Nice one.' I smiled. 'Oh, and Viv?'

Her headphones again paused mid-air. 'What?'

'Let's set some time aside today to go through your suggestions for the next Gold Card campain. I want to get started right away.'

I could see the shock reverberate through her face. 'I didn't expect you to get to that until next week.'

'I want to make it a priority. You had some really great ideas and I want to hear more about them.'

'Oh.' She looked baffled but gave me a tight smile. 'Okay, let's do that.'

I let her get back to her Adele, but I suspected she was secretly changing the song to 'Ice Ice Baby.'

My computer screen told me that it was 7.45am - a respectable time to text people on a weekday without the fear of waking them.

'Hey Blair, how are you? Are you free to catch up after work?'

'Sure! Meet you at Town Hall station at 6? We'll take it from there.'

It was time to put the next change into action.

****

There he was, all grown up. Blair, standing in front of the Queen Victoria statue, his hands jammed in his pockets. He smiled when he saw me.

I didn't know whether to give him a hug or a peck on the cheek or nothing, but he made the decision for me, giving me a peck on the cheek and a hug.

'We don't have trainers on, so we can go to any bar we like!' He flung his arms out and I laughed.

He let me pick a small bar that served strawberry and pomegranate mojitos that I'd always wanted to try. I didn't care that it was a Monday and that all the no sugar devotees in my office would freak if they knew what I wanted to be drinking.

Blair stuck to a beer and we settled on a couch in the corner. I savoured the sweet taste of cocktail on my tongue and felt an overwhelming urge to taste Blair's mouth too. Instead, I cleared my throat.

'It's been a very interesting couple of weeks,' I began.

'You mean interesting for you and me?' he asked.

'Yeah.'

'Good interesting or bad interesting?'

'Good interesting.' I stirred my straw in my drink, thinking carefully about what I should say next. 'I mean, who would have thought that we'd be hanging out as friends?'

'Just as friends?' He propped his elbow on the back of the couch and rested his head against his hand. 'We could surprise everyone and get to know each other as more than just friends.'

As I looked at the face of the man I'd had such intense love and hate feelings towards when he was a boy, I realised this was more than just a moment in which I marvelled at how we'd become friends. This was also a moment in which I marvelled at how sad I felt for turning down Blair Bradley. Indeed, who would have thought?

'Just friends.' I set my drink down and turned to face him, pressing my cheek against the cool leather on the back of the couch. 'I've just started seeing someone else and I want to see where it goes with him. I'm sorry.'

He was silent for a few seconds, as if he were taking the time to formulate his words. Eventually, he spoke. 'I guess it was presumptuous of me to think that you'd be available.'

'I thought I was, it's just, I've been doing some soul searching and –'

He placed his hand on mine. 'Sammy, it's cool.'

'Well, good.' I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

'Just answer me this,' he said. 'This isn't about all the mean things I did to you in high school, is it?'

'No.' I smiled. 'I forgave you for that and I meant it.'

He looked relieved. 'Okay, good. I just wanted to check.'

'Blair, you've had more of a positive influence on me over the past couple of weeks than you'll ever know.'

'Really?' He sounded surprised.

'Really.'

He grinned. 'Well, this guy must be pretty awesome then.'

'Hey,' I said with a smile, 'I'm passing up the Blair Bradley for him, so he has to be pretty amazing.'

'Yeah, he must be Ryan Gosling or something.'

'I feel like I'm Naomi Watts in that lamb roast ad from the early 90s, where she passes up a date with Tom Cruise. Remember that ad?'

'Jeez, I remember that ad!' He chuckled and shook his head. 'Sammy, you really do crack me up.'

****

Want to see the lamb roast ad that Sammy's talking about? Check out the video at the top of the chapter. Fun fact: it stars a very young Naomi Watts!