1998

'Robin's just jealous of you,' said Penny as we watched Teaghan sashay across the stage in her Lady Olivia dress.

'She's already drawn blood, what more could she do to me?' I asked in faux exasperation. I knew exactly what else she was capable of doing to me in her capacity as the play's costume coordinator.

'Blair's been looking over at you, like, every ten seconds.' Penny nodded towards Blair, who was on the other side of the auditorium playing around with the cardboard swords. He wasn't in the play, but a bunch of year 12s had taken on backstage jobs and extras roles because it got them out of other classes. I think Blair was helping out moving the sets.

I snuck a glance over at Blair and he quickly looked away. Penny was right.

'How awesome does Bec look today?' I overheard Naomi Knox, a girl from my phys-ed class, ask Shona Timms.

'I think the bright pink lipstick looks even better than red lipstick,' Shona replied.

I felt a surge of pride. 'So how did your new look go today?' I asked Penny. I'd say something to her later about how she'd put her glasses back on, pulled down the hem of her skirt and tied her hair up.

'I've had so many compliments. Even from Martin.'

'Don't go getting a crush on him again.' I flashed her a warning look. 'That jerk doesn't deserve your time and attention.'

'I could say the same thing to you about Blair,' she retorted. Touché. I wondered if she'd have an opinion about me going out with him in 2015? Probably.

'Okay Sammy and Teaghan, you're up,' Mr. H called. 'We'll do the scene on page 25 of my script.'

Teaghan walked slowly across the stage. She stopped at the centre and narrowed her eyes at me like she was some rival cowboy in a Western - a cowboy wearing butterfly hairclips and tencel jeans under her tulle dress.

I strode purposefully towards her. I could tell she was taken slightly off guard by my bravado because she took a couple of quick steps backwards.

She regained her composure and growled, 'I can't believe I have to pretend to be in love with you. It makes me wanna be sick.' She'd loathed the storyline that had her falling for my character disguised as a boy named Cesario.

'Likewise,' I murmured, scratching my head. I'd forgotten how much my short brown boy wig had itched.

Teaghan smiled sweetly as she turned to face the front.

'Cesario, by the roses of spring,' she began.

'Lezzers!' shouted Mudsey from the second row, his feet propped up on the back of the chair in front.

I sighed. I'd almost forgotten about the lesbian taunts. I looked at Teaghan, whose face seemed to have turned pale. Her script shook in her hands. I'd never noticed that the teasing upset her.

'Yeah, yeah, two girls,' I shouted at Mudsey. 'You should be thanking me and Teaghan for giving you a mental image to flog your log to tonight.'

Gasps filled the air but Mudsey seemed unfazed. 'I probably will!' he shouted with a chuckle.

'Sammy, Rob, that's enough,' warned Mr. H.

'Sorry,' I said, noticing that Teagan was actually giving me a look of appreciation.

'Alright, take it from earlier in the scene, from the top of page 24,' said Mr. H.

I nodded and gazed out at our audience. Robin glared at me from the third row. I wouldn't let her distract me.

Teaghan exhaled slowly and began, 'Prithee, tell me what thou thinkest of me.'

'That you do think you are not what you are.' I heard my voice loud and clear around the auditorium. I didn't sound that bad.

'It I think so, I think the same of you.'

'Then think you right. I am not what I am.' Man, I could say that again! Here I was - a 34 year old woman playing a 17 year old girl playing another young girl who was playing a boy. Phew!

I wondered if anyone was on to me. If anyone was, it would be Penny – she'd shown the most shock at my transformation. Well, her and Robin. Maybe Robin would expose me, like she'd exposed my nipple at the play.

Teaghan swayed theatrically to the side, clasped her hands in front of her chest and stared wistfully off into space. 'I would you were as I would have you be!'

'Would it be better, madam, than I am?' I paused for dramatic effect. 'I wish it might for now I am your fool.'

I marvelled at how I didn't even need to look at Mr. H's script. All those nights practicing in my room when I was 17 had lodged the words into my subconscious.

'Excellent Sammy and Teaghan!' exclaimed Mr. H. 'That was outstanding.'

I beamed and Penny gave me a thumbs up from the wings. Robin, on the other hand, narrowed her eyes at me and stared.

****

Robin was oddly silent as Penny and I walked past her, Teaghan and Lauren at lunch. What? She couldn't think of anything more to say about my thick eyebrows?

'Dad wants me to get a maths tutor,' said Penny, popping the lid off her vanilla Lip Smacker glitter gloss. 'I'm not doing that badly, but I really need a high score in it for the HSC'.

'Why did you put your glasses back on?' I asked her. 'Now people can't see all the work I did on your eyes. And that Lip Smacker doesn't go with your makeup. You should be reapplying that lipstick I gave you.'

I didn't think it was worth telling her that she wouldn't even need to get a good maths score to get into her design course.

'I like this Lip Smacker,' she said defensively. 'And the contacts hurt my eyes.'

'Why did you tie your hair back?' I pressed. 'I didn't go to all that effort this morning for you to do that.'

'It was too big and boofy,' she said.

From somewhere behind us, I heard Mudsey shout, 'Hey gorgeous!'

'Hey you!' Robin yelled back. Ugh. Couldn't he and Robin keep their daily flirting to a normal volume so it didn't involve the whole school overhearing? It was excruciating.

'I was actually talking to Sammy,' he said loudly. 'Yo Sammy!'

I spun around and the first thing I noticed wasn't Mudsey, but Robin frowning at me in the background. Maybe she'd upgrade Nipplegate to Vaginagate and give me see-through pants for the play.

'What can I do for you?' It was a question I asked to anyone who came up to my desk at work. It was the wrong question to ask Mudsey.

'I was hoping you'd flog my log for me sometime.'

'I think you've got already got it covered.' I tugged on Penny's arm and started to walk away.

'I know what I'd love to cover you in,' replied Mudsey.

I couldn't help but take the bait. What answer would a 17 year old boy come up with?

'What?'

'My spunk.'

'Ew!' Penny screwed up her nose.

'You wish,' I said calmly as I turned my back to him.

'Wow Sammy, that didn't shock you at all?' asked Penny when we were out of earshot.

'Not really.' One year on Tinder made Mudsey's line seem like romantic Shakespeare. Penny would one day be no stranger to Tinder dick pics and requests to pee on her.

She furrowed her brow. 'I don't under-'

'Hey Sammy!' Blair hollered, cutting Penny off as he jogged towards us.

'You're certainly popular today,' I heard Penny mutter as she folded her arms.

'Hey Blair, how's it going?' I asked.

'Yeah, good. Sorry about Mudsey. He can be a dick sometimes.'

'Sometimes?' I raised an eyebrow. And so can you, I wanted to add.

'Yeah okay, all the time,' Blair admitted, running a hand through his hair.

I nodded and waited for him to say something else, but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched.

'Is that all?' This was something I usually said to Nina if she hovered around my desk for too long.

'Um, no,' said Blair, his eyes darting between me and Penny. 'Penny, do you mind if I talked to Sammy in private for a minute?'

This was it – Blair Bradley was going to ask me to the formal. Was he being genuine or playing a prank? I couldn't tell.

'Uh, okay.' I knew that tone in Penny's voice. She was monumentally pissed off.

I gave her an apologetic look. 'I'll just be a minute,' I said.

Her stony expression told me that I was in big trouble.

'I'll just be over there.' She jabbed a finger at a nearby tree and stomped towards it.

'Listen Sammy,' said Blair, 'I was wondering if you had a date for the formal.'

'Not yet.' Distracted, I watched Penny sit down cross-legged and yank a blade of grass from the ground. If this was 2015, she'd be passing the time on her iPhone. What the hell did we used to do in awkward social situations before mobile phones?

'I was thinking maybe you and I could go together?'

My attention snapped back to Blair. He gave me a half-smile and I decided to make him wait for my answer for a few seconds.