Ch. 30 ~ Flashback

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Flashback

"I love you so much baby,"I said kissing Zara on the lips. I had entered her thick walls as they welcomed me. I looked into her eyes and brushed her hair away.

"I can't wait to marry you. All our dreams are going to come true. I want to have a house full of kids, a dog and a minivan." We both laughed until I heard her moan when I grabbed her leg and pushed deeper inside. She finally gripped my shoulders as she shuttered in my arms.

"I love you Ian. Don't ever forget that," she said brushing my hair back. I bent down and kissed her as I held on to her.

We got up, had lunch and then I took her to the airport. Neither one of us wanted to say goodbye so I kissed her in the parking garage in the car and one thing led to another and we had a quickie.

"I will call you tonight," she said straighten up her clothes.

"Okay, I will walk you to the gate."

"No I will go by myself. It's always so hard saying goodbye to you." She leaned over one last time and kissed me. It was slow and she sucked my lip.

I wanted her to stay but she had finals in a week but we had managed to escape to my house in the Hampton's for a week. She was on spring break and it had been a few weeks since I had last seen her. I hated being apart from her for weeks at a time. I stayed because I still had business to attended.

We spoke every night on the phone where she would blow kisses through the phone. She was the first black woman I had ever dated and one of the prettiest. From the moment I met her, I thought she was gorgeous. From her lips, to her smooth skin and those chocolate eyes, she had me.

A few days later I had called her and she seemed stressed out. I thought because this was her last few weeks of school and with finals she was rattled. We played phone tag until I flew out to New York.

I waited around her apartment and her best friend and roommate Tammy let me in. I waited and called but still hadn't heard from her. I sat on the sofa for hours worried. She finally came home startled that I was there.

"I thought you were in Atlanta?"

"I didn't like the way you sounded on the phone and we kept playing phone tag or have you been avoiding me? Anyway I got worried and flew down here. Now talk to me Zara."

"You had nothing to be worry about. I just have been so busy and I would never avoid your calls. I look forward to them. I'm fine. I...I just came back here to grab my book and head to Rena's house. She's in my class and since I need an A on the final we were going to stay up and study."

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Ian baby I haven't. I have just been so busy with finals. I promise as soon as this is over it's me and you. We will get married, have some babies, and get a minivan."

"Don't forget the dog," I said.

"And the dog," she whispered pulling my head down.

"At least let me treat you to dinner since I have flown all the way out here."

She looked at me trying to decide whether she wanted to go or not. That was strange. She never turned down my invites.

"Okay, but let me call Rena and tell her I will be late." She made the call and it must have went to voicemail. She almost seemed relieved. I took her out to the Waldo Astoria, because I knew she loved their cheesecake. We ate and I got a room.

"Ian I told you I needed to go."

"I miss you. It's been a week and a half since I've seen you and I miss that beautiful face of yours." I kissed her on the neck as we walked up to the elevator and got on.

"Ian I really need to go..." She said as we got on the empty elevator and I pulled up her skirt and slipped my finger inside of her as my body caged her in.

"Shh..." I said as she closed her eyes and I quickly stroked her. By the time we made it up to the penthouse suite she was ready for me. I opened the door and as soon as she walked in I picked her up, found the bedroom and threw her on the bed.

"Ian I need to go..."

"No you need to come because it helps with destressing. You can thank me later," I said taking off my shirt. She ran her hands down my chest.

"I promise if you let me study, we can do one of your freaky fantasies. You know you like it when we do them. Remember in the alley of Sal's Bar where I dressed up like a prostitute. You picked me up in the bar and we went outside and fucked in the alley. I will do whatever but I have to study babe."

"Why can't I have a little taste. I want you Zara. You never denied me before," I said kissing down her stomach pulling up her skirt.

"No Ia..!" I didn't let her get my name out as I was already between her legs. I ravished her and she crossed her feet around my neck. Her thighs held on to me as she shook, but I didn't stop until I felt her moaning and calling out my name and she shuttered again.

"Fuck me Ian, please," she whispered as I unzipped and entered her raw. She was begging and her eyes were pleading for me to take her. In one smooth stroke I rocked into her as I rolled us over and she took the lead. She rode me like a champion bull rider. We screamed as pleasures ripped through the both of us. She rode me so good I laid there and fell asleep.

When I woke up she was gone. She left a note that she went to study and she would call me later.

A week later I got a phone call from the local police that Zara was in a car accident that she was in critical condition and they didn't know if she was going to make it. My heart started breaking because losing her would literally kill me. By the time I made it to the hospital the doctor told me she had died.

I felt so empty inside. I was all alone as I sat in the hallway feeling guilty that I wasn't here when it happened. Maybe just the sound of my voice could have brought her back. The future we had planned was now just a distant memory. I had cried for hours.

I had called my friend Tom and he came and got me. I drank myself to death that night at my hotel. I swore I had seen images of her appearing throughout the night but it was just my imagination.

I arranged the funeral. Her family was there and because of the crash her face was distorted and the funeral home recommended a closed casket. I watched as they covered her casket with dirt. I fell to my knees begging for her to come back to me. My friend Tom and Brian helped me up and took me back to Tom's house. I stayed there for a week to get myself together.

I got a hotel room close to the cemetery where I would visit her daily. I would clean off the gravesite, bring fresh flowers and tell her what was going on in my life. It had almost been a month that I went through the motions of visiting her until one day I realized she wasn't coming back. That no matter how much I prayed she wasn't here anymore.

I had finally gone back to work and threw myself into my job. I didn't have time for women as I was building a successful business. Some women threw themselves on me, but I wasn't interested. The few that did pique my interest were mostly one night stands. I had made it clear that I wasn't interested in a relationship so there wouldn't be any hard feelings.

There were a few that started to get clingy and I quickly dismissed them. I think I was more scared of loving someone and having them taken away then being by myself. I was successful but I was missing the love of a woman. So one night I got on my knees and prayed asking God to send me the one when he felt I was ready.

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So what do you think about Zara?

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