Dedicated to @chocolateophobia for the cute cover above! Thank you💞

Chapter Thirty-Four: "Date?"

"WHEN WAS THE last time you guys even talked?" Anmol asked me, tying her hair into a ponytail while staring hard at the words on her laptop screen.

I was lying down on the ground in her bedroom and Maddy was texting frantically on her phone beside my head. We were all supposed to be writing different notes and have been here for an hour without any progress. 

"That day," I spoke up. "Last week."

"It's been that long?" Maddy asked in wonder. She was there. She knew but even I had a hard time believing that Sam and I didn't speak through any form of communication for a week.

"Yeah. I felt like I would've have screamed at him or something if I didn't get away from him. Then Caleb had to force him not to text me or see me until I wanted him to see me."

"Wait, he wasn't at the game the other day?" Anmol asked.

"Oh, he was. He was just kind of hidden." Maddy mentioned. I didn't even react to that. I already knew that he was there even if I didn't see him.

"You know Valentine's day is tomorrow right?" Anmol asked.

"I'm aware." I answered, looking up at the ceiling and tapping my fingers against my stomach.

"So, what the hell is going to happen with the two of you?"

"I don't know." I admitted.

"Is he going to stop seeing Alexis?" Maddy asked.

"Madds, you're making it sound like Sam was seeing Alexis behind Macy's back-he wasn't right? Because if he was-"

It's really hard to believe that Anmol was the one who could barely speak to Sam months ago and now she says things like this.

"He's not cheating on me." I interrupted.

"We know that."

"Why does he think that Matteo is into you anyway?" Anmol asked looking confused.

"I have no idea. It doesn't make any sense to be honest. I have other guy friends and he has never seen any of them as a threat and I understand me being with Matteo more than him because Matteo and I have almost every class together but that's-"

"Bullshit," Anmol cut in. "He needs to trust you. He needs to trust that even if Matteo does something that you'll push him away. That you won't give in."

"Exactly." I agreed.

"Does Sam realize that he has to cut that bitch out of his life?" Maddy mumbled.

"Maddy..." I trailed off.

"It's true whether you want to say it out loud or not. She comes in thinking that Sam is going to dump you for her. She needs a reality check. Sam doesn't love her. He doesn't care to love her whether they had sex or not. He used her and he even let her know that he used her and that when they had sex it meant nothing. Nothing. Nada. Zipo. Zlich. Zero."

Maddy sighed. "The worst part is if he stays friends with someone that's trying to pull your relationship apart. He can't do that. He can't allow such a toxic person in his life like her who not only ruins your relationship but also makes you of all people insecure. Like you're Macy, you're usually not supposed to be insecure."

"She's kind of right. You kind of don't care about what people think about you." Anmol added.

"Yeah, like Sam. And the fact that this person is making you doubt yourself is stupid. So what if she had just so happened to have sex with Sam two years ago? Like who cares? Sam doesn't. It's irrelevant. Just because you haven't had sex with Sam-"

"How did you know that?" I asked because I didn't tell her. She always assumed.

"Caleb. Caleb tells me things that you don't only because he wanted me to tell you the right words. These are the right words right here: Sam has to open his eyes and see what a true person Alexis is. And she really loved him, she would be happy to see him happy with someone else."

I sucked in a deep breath, feeling my emotions bubble inside me. I pushed my hair back, laying back on the ground and exhaling sharply. "Oh my God. I hate this situation so much."

Anmol laid down next to me. "We know you do."

"Have you decided when you're going to talk to him about this?" Maddy asked me, leaning over me to look at me in the face like Philip used to do with me sometimes. 

"I don't even know when I should. I feel like the next time we talk we're going to get into another argument. Not the little ones like we usually get into but the actual full sized argument that would have happened if Caleb had not come in."

"Communication is essential Mace." Maddy said, leaning back with a sympathetic look on her face. 

"Yeah. Yeah I know." I sighed and we all sat in a couple of minutes of silence before Anmol spoke.

"Wait. Sam thinks Matteo is interested in you? I always thought Matteo was gay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You watching it?" Andrew asked me through the phone. He sounded so much better. Like him and Jasmine had never happened. Like they never broke up and he never went through any heartbreak. 

I curled up my legs underneath me, my eyes on the laptop. "Yeah. I can't believe how many people are tuning onto this live stream just to see Caleb for the first time. Look at the number on the top of the screen."

"I know." He mumbled, sounding distracted before he cleared his throat. "Have you talked to him yet?"

"No. I haven't talked to Sam yet. I've been getting that question a lot."

"Sorry I'm just concerned. When you called me right after everything happened you sounded really upset Mace." 

"Yeah but..." I trailed off, sighing.

"This is really affecting you huh?"

"Yeah."

"I'm surprised you haven't, um, cried or anything. Then again, it takes a lot to make you cry over something."

"Yep. It does," I cleared my throat, sucking in a deep breath as I kept my eyes on the screen. "I think he's coming out now."

"No, he isn't. They said like three minutes. You're avoiding the topic."

"Maybe the topic isn't real and I'm having a nightmare where Sam and I aren't talking. Then maybe my dorm room door opens and a bunch of bugs crawl through and eat me alive and put makeup all over me. That, my friend, is a nightmare."

Andrew laughed. "It's not like you broke up. But it feels like it, doesn't it?"

"Sure. That's what it feels like."

"What are you going to do? Spend Valentine's Day alone?"

"I spent almost eighteen years of my life celebrating it alone why can't I celebrate it for another year without a boyfriend by my side?"

"Maybe because you have a boyfriend and you guys just aren't talking."

"It's not that simple Andrew."

"Yes, it is. Just talk to him. Tell him what you think he truly needs to hear. Do the right thing for your relationship. You can break up with him, stay with him, take a break, whatever you guys need to do as long as it's the right thing for the both of you."

I stayed silent for that and looked at the screen just in time to see a person standing by the mic in front of dozens of the press. Dozens of cameras were set up with people behind them ready to capture this moment. Many of them wanting to expose Caleb Romero Henderson for the first time in the world as an author.

"Caleb's going on in about three, two, one..." I trailed off, watching the man get off of the pedestal and Caleb come on instead. He wore a basic t-shirt and jeans because Maddy decided that he didn't really need to suit up to this press. He just needed to be himself.

He cleared his throat. The way his eyes shifted showed another story then the usual confidence on his face. I could tell that he was a bit nervous, I thought making sure to dim the lighting on my camera to take a picture of my laptop from this angle.

"I'm Romero Henderson-Caleb Romero Henderson."

"What an introduction." Andrew said dramatically and I couldn't help but laugh.

There was a moment of silence. Just people taking pictures of him as he waited for the shock to go away. I knew what he thought they would expect. Probably someone older. Not as young as the man-child who stood there with a microphone propped next to his face. "Any questions?"

I looked through my social media and refreshed my feed. Holy fudgenuggets this guy was trending.

There were so many voices at the same time trying to ask Caleb a question and he laughed, calming everyone down with a gesture of his hands he spoke into the microphone. "One question at a time please. You with the funny hat." He pointed.

"You're the real Romero Henderson?" Someone asked.

"Yes." Caleb answered into the microphone and I could see that familiar grin spread across his face. The attention. I think he was loving it. Of course he was. "The pretty lady with the lilac hair." 

"How old are you?" Another person asked.

"I just turned eighteen in November."

There was a silence of voices besides the clicking of cameras and flashes before someone asked the next question. "But Living In The Never came out-"

"When I was fifteen yes. I remained anonymous due to my age and certain decisions. You with the, uh, interesting floral shirt."

"How?" One person asked.

"My best friend and his mom helped me out..." He continued explaining as everyone hung onto his every word.

His best friend.

I sighed, taking the phone in my hands and starting to type under a text log. Andrew must've felt like I was doing something while Caleb was talking because he asked me, "What's wrong?"

"Valentine's day? Whatever. But now I may take everyone's advice."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stood at the door, breathing in deeply. I tapped my fingers against my thigh debating if I wanted to open the door in front of me with the key in my hand.

Why the hell am I conflicted about opening the stupid door? I asked myself when I heard the door unlock, my heart almost leaping out of my chest.

The door flew open and Peter leaned against it, looking the best I've seen him in weeks. He smiled at me before frowning. "The both of you are going to drive me crazy."

"How?" I asked quietly.

He waved a hand to dismiss the topic, shrugging his jacket on. "I'm going out."

"You have a date?"

"A date? On Valentine's day? Which is known as Single awareness Day? Not today. Not for the first time in years." He laughed and stepped outside of the flat.

"You look a lot better." I pointed out.

"I told you I will. I got back to the gym. I had to burn away all the excess fat I had been eating. Did you know I went through an entire marathon of Sex and The City and I feel like I've watched every single show on Netflix? My eyes are so tired I can't even look at my phone screen let alone the TV. Now come here and give me a celebration hug."

Peter wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him back. "I'm glad you're doing better."

"Mace?"

"Yeah?"

"He's stupid. Beyond stupid and he needs to realize that what he did or what he said or whatever the hell he been doing is dumb. Because just looking at the two of you right now kind of shows me how rough it's been for the both of you. And it's not like you guys broke up. I can't even imagine how that would be."

Let's not imagine that, I thought when we let go of the hug. 

I bit my lip and he walked by me, patting me on the shoulder. I moved inside the place, closing the door behind me when Soccer ran over to me on his four legs.

A smile came to my face in light of the situation and I cuddled him into my arms. "Hey little guy." There was something about this puppy that always managed to put a smile on my face no matter what was happening. 

"He missed you, you know?"

I glanced up at him. At Sam. He looked off. Just slightly.

It wasn't the sudden facial hair on his face that I loved even though he wanted to keep the hair off his face for a long time now. It wasn't the way he put on a smile for me. It wasn't the way his shirt was wrinkled at the bottom either.

Maybe it was the whip cream in his hand or the two different colored socks on his feet but it wasn't in his appearance. Something was just off. 

The way he was staring at me was like he had been anticipating for us to see each other again. Soccer shifted in my arms and I smiled down at him, putting him down on the ground as I took off my shoes at the front.

"I missed him too." I said in reference to his previous statement, watching Soccer run away towards the direction of the kitchen.

There was a moment of silence in the air and I held in my breath when I realized what it truly was.

Awkwardness.

Sam and I have never been awkward. It could be silent and we would still be comfortable with one another. We could glance at each other in what could have been an awkward situation but we would laugh it off like it was nothing.

We weren't awkward.

Not like this. Not like no one had something to say.

When I opened my mouth to speak, I wasn't surprised that Sam had tried to get words out too and we both cut each other off. Sam 's hand rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I know you said you just wanted to talk but-"

"You couldn't help yourself to make something huh?"

"Not much. Just a little something for you." The small smile on his face made one appear on mine.

"Sam..."

"C'mon," He waved me over to the living room and I smiled at the sight in front of me. "I know how much you love Pop Tarts since you will probably never outgrow that phase of eating them."

I looked at the table and the different types of Pop Tarts on different plates. "Is that cake pop made out of pop tarts?"

"Yeah and there's milkshakes in there too and there's a stack of your favorite movies right there."

"Sam-"

"I mean, if you want to watch one we can do it right now. Oh, and there's smores made out of Pop Tarts and I found a whole bunch of things that Lucas told me to make for you out of them. And I looked online and made this weird-but I'm sure you're going to like it-"

'Sam?" I had to stop him. Even though it was probably one of the most endearing things to hear him ramble and see the way his eyes lit up as he explained what he worked on, I had to stop him so I could focus on what I came here for.

He looked up at me, his eyes bright. "Yeah?"

"Can we talk? I came here because I wanted to talk to you."

The smile slipped off his face and nodded reluctantly. "Um, okay. Yeah, sure."

We sat down on the couch and he leaned back taking a deep breath. That awkwardness was there again.

I hated it.

Sam spoke first. "Did you see the whole Caleb's press conference?"

I nodded. "Yeah, yeah, he did great."

Sam chuckled. "He was so nervous."

"You didn't swear at him before he went on, did you?"

"How else am I supposed to get through to him? He told me it worked."

"Of course it did. You're his best friend and you're kind of the reason why he's finally up there in the first place."

"Yeah." Sam said and there was another silence between us. Like we had no idea how to approach the stupid subject that's causing the awkwardness itself.

I still hated it.

"It's February fourteenth you know?" I nodded. "Do you remember what we were doing a year ago today?"

"Let me guess," I turned to him, perching a leg up on the couch as I got comfortable.  "You were probably annoying me your presence but didn't bother leaving me alone."

Sam chuckled. "I annoyed you for a whole month."

"A month? Sure. Tell me about it." I muttered.

"Macy?" He asked. And I noticed that he didn't call me Hazel. He didn't.

"Yeah."

"Happy Valentine's day."

"Happy Valentine's day, Sam." I mumbled.

I felt his hand tilt my head to face him. And when he kissed me, for the first time I felt like we shouldn't. No matter what it felt like. No matter the significance of the day of love.  Things weren't resolved. Nothing was truly fixed and everything just felt off. I couldn't.

I pulled away, my hands sliding down his shirt. My fingers bunched the bottom of his shirt and he rested his forehead against mine. "Sam, I can't."

"I understand." He whispered, moving my hair out of my face. I felt the need to kiss him again with the proximity so I pulled back trying to mentally prepare myself for the next words to say. 

"I...I think we need a break."

Sam looked at me with confusion, his bottom lip rolling into his mouth. I avoided his eyes, trying not to look at them. I felt like they had the power to change my decision overall.

"You're breaking up with me?" Sam asked in a quiet voice that was interrupted by the faint bark of Soccer in another room.

"No," I took his hands in mine. "You mean the world to me but this-what's happening right now because of jealously and paranoia we need to fix. We need to have an understanding. We need space."

"More space than we already have," He asked raising my hands to kiss the back of it. "I haven't seen you in what feels like forever."

"I know, I know," I took a deep breath, blinking away the tears that were beginning to prick at my eyes. "But honestly...you need to understand that Matteo is just my friend. That he is only and always will be just my friend. You're jumping to conclusions and the way you view Matteo makes me feel like-like you don't trust me."

"But I do."

"I know you do but that's just what it feels like. And," I stopped to sigh at the next topic. "The whole Alexis thing. I don't know what you're going to do."

I let him hang off that. Let him hear that last sentence and hope he was trying to understand what I was getting at here.

"You're giving me an ultimatum."

"I don't want to but that's what it feels like. And I know that you and Alexis have known each other for a long time but-"

"You're the only person I want to choose. It's like you said, you're not an option. I'm in love with you not her."

"But you need to understand that she loves you-"

"I don't care about that, Macy."

"I know! But she loves you-no she's obsessed with you because she had sex with you. Because she's known you for a long time. Because she thinks that every single time you'll have a problem or something will occur in your life that you'll go to her. Because of that one time, she think you will go to her. She thinks that because you had a one time thing that it's bonded you or something."

I didn't let him speak, I looked him dead in the eyes as I said the next words. "Alexis is the kind of person that will probably do anything to get what she wants. She wants you. She always has. But in order to do that she thinks that she has to get rid of me. Since I first met her she tries to make me feel like I'm good enough for you, like you deserve someone that fit your standards. That's in your world. That's who she feels should be with you. She feels like that person is herself. That is type of person you've been friends with for years."

I took a deep breath, planning out my next words carefully. "If you don't believe me then I see where our relationship stands. But for now, a break would probably do us some good. Talk to me when you've sorted things out. When you can trust me, when you can talk to me, when you truly made your decision."

Sam sighed, running hands over his