Shawn's POV

It was the chirping birds and fighting squirrels that set off my mood. Just the way that some of the leaves danced in the wind like they were partners, set me off. Spring time really was beautiful, with the flowers and animals. Buzzing bees that would move from flowers, to dandelions, then back to the hive. Caterpillars crawling around, soon to be butterflies. The day was beautiful...only making me plummet deeper into the dark abyss of sadness.

It's funny how life works really. We're born, we grow up, we grow old, we die. Every animal, every species has methods of survival. We just want to reproduce and flourish. With humans at the top of the food chain, we don't fear a lot. What's there to fear anyways? The only thing we should truly be scared of is each other. Our lives can be so...pointless at times. If you really think about it, most of us go to school for more than half of our lives. We all want to be something or we have to be something. It's the only way we'd all live a good life.

Money was like the center of the universe to us. We're probably the only species that relies on paper to help our lives. Birds find their mates, make kids, then do it over. Herds of animals such as zebras, wildebeest, even fish. They stick together like a giant family. Packs of wolves or lions, their main goal is to eat, sleep, reproduce. So what makes us so different? Why must we always dawn on deaths or disabilities? We are so absorbed in living longer, in flourishing longer. It's this era of our nature.

In a herd, if you're sick you're left behind. If you're injured in a pack, you're kicked out like an outcast. If you die, you're left to rot and become part of the earth. Not for us. For us it's different. If we're sick, we're treated. If we're injured we're not abandoned. If we die, we're put into a casket. Or burned to ashes. Why is it that we care so much? Why can't we move on like all the other animals? What makes us so different?

My eyes stayed planted on the grass as I folded my hands in front of me. "We're all gathered here today to not mourn about the death of this young lady, but to praise the wonderful life she had."

Death was something that is part of us. We can't live forever yet we try to figure knew methods to live longer. Why? Once we're in our sixties or seventies what use do we have? We're just wasting air on the earth, space for others. Our world is slowly dying and it's our fault. We are not meant to live so long, it hurts everything around us and we're blinded by the fact. Sure, I want to live for a long time, but it's true. Once I retire will I really be able to do things I've dreamed of? 

This is different though. This was a young girl that had a lot to live for. A good family with people that love her. Friends that are caring and understanding. A young man who is madly in love with her. She didn't have a chance to enjoy life. Once you're sixty or seventy all you have to give is wisdom from everything you learned in your youth. But she didn't have the chance to experience any of that.

Life can sometimes be hard. It makes you fight and never backs down easily. Everyone has something to live for. Maybe it's a dream of becoming famous or something as wild as falling in love. So life can be pointless at times but once you get on the right track it's worth living for. Maybe that's why we want to flourish. Because we dream, love, and hope.

The Adam's apple in my throat bobbed while I tried not to cry. Like the man had said, we will not mourn but praise. "Do you ever wonder what life really is?" I looked to my side where I saw FooFoo. His head was bowed down and his rainbow mane was shaded in blue to match his mood.

"Life is misery. But it's worth it in the end..." I answered with a sigh, my hand started petting his head just around his horn where he likes it. Everyone was attending the Princess' funeral. Sir LanceVicTovan was here with his guards. Even his Majesty was sad of the death of the Princess. Duke Hollischolar was attending the funeral as well. He is the brightest scholar in all the lands, making everyone feel dumb in his presence. It was strange though because everyone thought he was dumb until he answered the riddle to one of the witches. He luckily was not turned into a fish.

"It's short too." FooFoo sighed. "What will we do Shawn?"

I shook my head. "Don't look at me. Sir LanceVicTovan is the king."

"But you're the Royal Joker."

My lips curled in the smallest smile. "I travel to much. The Princess was...a sister to me."

FooFoo smirked slightly. "It's funny really...you, the King, the Scholar. All so close. All of you are treated with the highest respects in the Kingdom. Then, the Princess comes. You favor her, the Duke favors her, finally the King takes to his liking. After that, the whole Kingdom loves her."

I shook my head. "I can't believe the Chocolate Elk were in the way while she was riding. It was the horse that lost control. She wasn't holding onto the reins and now look at her..."

We both looked at her lifeless body. It was decorated with flowers that surrounded her like bushes. There was a bouquet of flowers in her hands as she was laid back on a small boat. It was also decorated with beautiful carvings on the sides and flowers floating behind."I'm going to miss her." FooFoo looked down a huff escaping his muzzle. "I was starting to like her Ninja guards. They made me laugh."

"Her Kingdom will fall into despair." I watched as they sent the boat with the Princess' body out into the Sea of Fairies. Everyone watched as it sailed against the still water. It was only the wind that was carrying it away from us. "She has a little sister though."

"She's too young." FooFoo and I watched the boat until it was merely a spec on the water. "Besides, the Prince isn't in any shape to take over. He was suppose to join the King's army in a while, now all he does is sulk in his room. They're keeping a close eye on him. Before he does something stupid."

"He truly loves her." My voice caught. "I truly love her as well."

"She will be ok." FooFoo nudged his muzzle into my shoulder. "She's with your father now."

I woke up when I heard the monitor ring. It was the long short beep signifying no heartbeat. When I looked at the screen, my stomach turned at the flat line. My breathing got heavier and I felt the bile in the back of my throat. I couldn't move. All I could do was stare. Blake was already up, he shouted something but I couldn't hear. I was too busy hyperventilating in my chair to do anything. I told myself a thousand times she'd be ok. That she'd make it out of this trance.

My cheeks became wet with the tears falling down my face. If my dream wasn't bad enough, waking up to this was. Tori couldn't leave me. She's my sister, my best friend. She's helped me through so much. Her brilliance helped me with math when I was failing. She helped me think of a date with Emily. She helped get Em and I back together when we broke up. She was the best thing that could have happened to me. Tori was the reason I wasn't stuck as Blake's shadow. The reason I became more independent. She couldn't leave.

"Shawn we have to go." Blake grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. My knees collapsed below me as I watched the nurses and doctors rush in. "Shawn!" Blake shouted in my ear. I hated it when people yelled at me. Especially in a situation like this. All it does is make me stress more and feel like my skull is shrinking around my brain.

I closed my eyes and started sobbing. Tori can't leave me. She's my everything right now. Dad and I were never as close as Tori and me are. She played games with me, she was part of my life, my life. I wished I had met her before we became siblings so we could have been the best of friends. She was a combination of all of us. She had an attitude like Blake. Smart like Cole. And crazy like me. We were all able to bond with her because of that. I didn't want to leave her, I wanted to stay by her side and hold her hand. I wanted her to wake up. My body wouldn't move though, I just wanted to crawl under the bed and cry. Cry all day and night.

"You two need to leave." One of the nurses said to us. This was actually happening, Tori's heart stopped beating.

Blake cursed and picked me up. He took me out of the room where I found Cole pacing with his hands behind his head as tears streaked down his face. Bill was holding onto Suzie while she kicked and screamed as sobs didn't stop. Bill's face was deadly pale, he looked fatigue and weak. Finally he gave up and handed Suzie to mom who held onto her with a different strength. Bill placed his hands on his eyes trying to stop the tears.

I wasn't paying attention. There was a buzzing in my ear and I felt my stomach drop. Beads of sweat started forming on the sides of my head and back. There was a taste of bile in the back of my throat and my hands trembled slightly.

Hold it in Shawn! My voice yelled in my head.

I can't. I answered when I felt my stomach grumble. It started hurting with a pain I knew before. My eyes blinked away the tears as I felt everything rising.

Abort! Abort mission! It yelled. Find a trash can now! Eee-rrr! Eee-rrr!

Blake put me down when I squirmed out of his grip. There was a small trash beside the seats and I rushed to it. I knelt in front of it letting everything come out. My lungs screamed for me to breathe but my body kept throwing everything up. I'd choke and gag feeling my face turn red and hot. I had barely eaten but even so, bile and coffee ended up at the bottom of the trash. While I threw up, someone started rubbing my back trying to soothe my shaking body. Even after I was done, I lent over the trashcan breathing deeply as tears started to stream down my face and join the vomit at the bottom of the trash.

My arms were shaking with the nerves racking through me. I wanted to throw up again but there was nothing left. The back of my throat was dry and stung from the acid in my stomach. My taste buds were complaining with the disgusting taste that played on my tongue. I looked up at everyone and they all stared at me. "Does anyone by any chance have gum?" I asked closing my eyes and laying my head against the wall.

"You feeling ok?" Blake knelt down to eye level with me.

I shook my head squeezing my hands into fists. My nails started digging into my palms as we heard the doctors and nurses in Tori's room. Please oh dear God let her be ok. I prayed. Hiccups started forming in my mouth. Don't let this happen. Not again...

Blake sat beside me, putting the trashcan far away from us. His arms went around my shaking body, hugging me into his warm chest. I clung onto his jacket and cried on his shoulder. Part of me was crying over Tori, the other part because I could barely even remember the time Blake hugged me like this. It was after dad died. He'd do this on a daily basis where he'd just hold me and tell me the world wasn't over. It was the most comforting thing anyone could ever had done for me and I missed it. I missed having  my brother around to tell me that it'll be ok as soon as the pain goes away.

He never cried. He'd come close many times but he'd never cry. It gave me some strength to know that he was in the same pain yet wouldn't shed the tears. It made me realize that I shouldn't cry as hard. Right now was the same. Blake would rub my back until my shaking went away. I knew I couldn't look at his face, if I did I'd have a new reason to cry. He was emotionless. There wasn't a single thing that looked to be on his mind. It was like staring at a wall. 

My sobs slowed down to hiccups as I tried to regain myself. Tori died. Her heart gave out. She's dead. All the memories of her started reappearing in my head. The wedding when she was sitting alone eating the cake like she hated life. The day she moved in, with all the brown boxes. Her kindergarten explanation about how trees are miracles. When we went to lake house and had the best time ever even when we did hate ourselves. The first time I actually started warming up to her when we were doing my math. After that everything was great. The nicknames, the jokes, the laughs. When she'd play Ninja with me. I'd make her laugh with my random comments as we watched movies, TV, or games. Even with all her seriousness, she started acting a bit like me. She became more than a sister, she became my friend.

"Mommy don't take her." I heard Suzie say. Her head was buried into dad's arm. "I know you miss her mom but please don't take her. She's my big sister I need her. I need her to give me all that stupid girl advice for when I get older. She may not be the girly-est person but she promised to teach me how to wear make up when I'm fifteen. She said she'd shop with me when I go to Prom. She's the only person I have left mom." Suzie sobbed and took a sharp in take of air. "Don't take her."

Blake's grip tightened around me until Cole decided to join. His head came against mine but I kept my eyes tightly sealed and clung onto my brother like my life depended on it. Blake didn't seem to mind. He kept whispering small things like, "Don't worry. It'll all go away." Or, "Just sleep you guys. When you wake up it'll be over."

I couldn't sleep though. If I fell asleep again something could happen. I wouldn't sleep now. I'd stay awake and watch over Tori so nothing would happen. Maybe if I focused hard enough, I could transfer positive energy and make sure nothing bad happens. At the idea my voice said, You're crazy.

I'm trying to stay positive.

It didn't answer but I didn't care. It was still about twenty minutes before a doctor came out to speak with us. A lot had gone in the room, sometimes coming out but rushing down the hall to get someone else. We were left clueless. Doctor Garcia had been called and walked in without giving us a glance. When he came out he had a small smile, "She's fine."

The pressure in my chest floated away. Exhaustion creeped in me as the nerves in my stomach whispered away like leaves in the wind. I sighed out in relief like the rest of my family. "She's not...dead, right?" Blake asked.

"No." Doctor Garcia said. "Sometimes comatose patients go into these cardiac arrests. We're trained to bring them back. A coma doesn't effect the body. Just the brain. So we have tools to keep the body alive while the brain tries to repare itself."

"She's ok now right?" Cole asked. I couldn't find myself to talk. All I concentrated on was my breathing. I took deep breaths, in and out. In and out. My heart rate, that had picked up in the scare, was slowing down.

"For now yes." Garcia said. I could feel his eyes on me. I looked up at him but he then glanced at Suzie. "Usually when I have a patient like this I give the same advice to all the families."

Blake frowned. "What's that doc?"

"Get back to your regular lives." He said. "You all have school I assume. Warm beds at home that are much more comfortable than the chairs in the room. Plus," He looked at mom and dad, "You probably have jobs as well. We'd of course call if anything happ-"

"I do not have a job." Bill said with a half smile. "So I'll stay here with my daughter if that's all the same to you."

Garcia nodded. "As for your family, I just suggest getting back to the regular routine."

"It doesn't work like that," Blake said. "My sister was part of my regular routine. You can't expect us to go home and act like everything is...normal."

I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to have any part of this conversation but I listened to it. The metallic taste of vomit was still present in my mouth. There was just so much in my eyes. I was exhausted from what just happened. That was the biggest scare of my life. At least with my dad I had held onto hope but knew he probably wouldn't make it. I thought Tori was gone. I thought she'd never come back. Like she really did join my dad. I couldn't handle that, I wanted to sob under a rock and never come out.

"That's not what I meant," Doctor Garcia said, "I'm sure you boys have friends at school. Maybe sports. I'm just saying it'd be best to get back to that to try and clear your head. It's your choice though. But sooner or later you'll have to go. I'm sorry, you just can't stay here forever."

"I don't want to go." I muttered. "I wanna be here with Tori."

"You and me both." Cole whispered to me.

The doctor exchanged a few more words with dad before heading down the hall. They could have given us a fair warning. If they knew weird stuff like this could happen to someone when they're in a coma, they could have told us. Instead they hid it so we wouldn't worry. Doctors think they know everything. Half of them probably don't know how to grieve or what it feels like to be scared. Like Blake had said, they'd said sorry to so many people it's just part of their job. They don't feel remorse, just disappointment they let another patient die or they couldn't help.

It was about two hours later when I felt like I could go back into Tori's room. She looked the same except now her heart was beating. The nurses kept coming in and out more frequently to make sure there wasn't another...surprise like the one we had. I took my seat in the chair and brought my knees to my chest. My stomach kept churning as I stared at the red line that beat with Tori's heart.

I hate this place. So much. The hospital always scares me. It gives me creeps and makes me feel weird. The way the doctors just cut and poke people open like they're frogs in a biology lab. They put wires in people and have strange machines that read different things. The doctors themselves wear werid lab coats that remind me of my ninth grade biology teacher. All the instruments doctors use for surgery look like torture devices, only making chills roll down my back. I hate this place. It's creepier than a haunted house on Halloween night.

I sunk down in the chair and pulled a book from mom's purse. I didn't bother learning the title, I just started reading it hoping to be placed in a different world. I fell into something different. A story about a book and a little boy. How he too fell into a different world, only quiet literally. The book he was reading absorbed him into the story. It was about a magical kingdom with dragons and animals I'd never heard of. When I finished reading I turned the book over and stared at the title, The Never Ending Story.

"Mom," I looked towards my mother. "I need a new book."

She sighed, "I'm not going back downstairs. You're burning the money into these books faster than a light on a candle."

I thought about it before turning to look at Cole. "You got a job...help a brother out."

Cole stared at me for a second before sighing in defeat. "Fine. But I'm going with you." He stood up giving a glance at Blake. The look said it all, at least I could read it. I wasn't sure if anyone else could but Blake reassured that if something happened he'd call us. Cole and I walked through the halls of the hospital. It was chilly so I stuffed my hands in my pockets. When we passed by a few laughing nurses I couldn't help but shudder. They were probably laughing at a patient. Or how they're about to operate on someone. They're all