Friends to Enemies to Friends Again

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"I resented my mother for leaving me. And then I began resenting you."

      "Why me?"

      "Because you're everything I ever wanted to be."

"Me? What qualities do I possess you could want?" I'm baffled.

"Your honesty. Your bravery. Your purity. Everything I've lacked my whole life."

       I throw my head back, laughing. "Jungkook, c'mon. You have everything I have and more. You've gotten way more citizenship awards than me. Teachers worship you like a model student. Kids admire you for stopping fights at school. Everybody loves you."

"Everybody loves me, huh? Then tell me why my mother left me all alone in this world?" He yelled.

"I-I can't tell you why, but sometimes we don't know the full story-"

"You know what the worst part was? My mom didn't even leave me a message in her suicide letter.
She left me nothing. She couldn't even tell me that I wasn't at fault. So perhaps I should blame myself. I was a burden to her." Jungkook presses his lips together.

"You don't know what went through her mind. She could have been suffering from something else," I tried to explain.

"Well I'll never know, huh? She played her cruel game on me and now she isn't here, anymore. She pretended she cared for me and I care for her but she left me. That was the closest thing I ever had to love, and it's all gone," he sobs.

"Jungkook, I love you."

"Uh what?" He raises his eyebrow and backs an inch away from me.
I covered my mouth with my hand. What just came over me?

"I mean, as a classmate. And sure we didn't get along for a few years but I always admired you. So perhaps I can't give you parental love or romantic love, but I can give you my companionship," I explained.
      Yup, that was what I wanted to give to him.

Jungkook's bottom lip quivers. "You'd never want to love me if you knew the truth about me..."
"What truth? C'mon let's be honest," I beg.
"No. This is where I draw the line. You'd never face me again if you knew what I've done-"

"Rain," I interrupt him.
"What?"

"Rain. Isn't that our safe word if we're crossing each other's boundaries?" I ask.

"Yes...yes, it is."
He snorts, resting his head against his palm, with his elbow on the couch. The frown lines from his forehead disappears, and are replaced with crinkles below his eyes.

"Jungkook..if you're not comfortable with telling me something, you don't have to. It's hard revealing every part of yourself to someone else... Even me, I've gone through some weird stuff. Things that would make me sound...crazy if I revealed those details," I shuddered.

"Oh, really? Now I'm curious." He rubs his hands together in anticipation.

"I promise I'll tell you...one day. Just not today."

"Okay, that's fair. Maybe I'll be there." He shrugged.

"I hope you will be. I know you will."

Jungkook chuckles. "How can you be so sure?"

"Just trust me on this. I promise I'll tell you all my strange secrets. We'll still talk in the future." I bite my lip.

"Okay. But why are you so serious about this?"

Because your death is predicted to happen in 15 days.

"Because I care about you...we're friends right?" I ask.

Jungkook leans back in the sofa.

"I don't know, do you want to be friends, y/n?"

"Uh, yeah? I'm pretty sure we are friends already, though?" I'm puzzled.

"It's been awhile since I had a friend..." he admitted.

"What about the Bangtan Boys? Aren't they your friends?" I'm confused.

"Well Namjoon is my older step brother and as you can see by the way he treats me, we're not on friendly terms.. The rest of them, I've known since we were kids. Our families are sorta connected, but I wouldn't call them friends. I don't think I can trust any of them." He runs his hands through his hair.

"What about Jin? He saved us from Namjoon and he's really sweet." I pointed out.

"Honestly, that was a surprise. But I don't think he'd ever fully stand up to him. I know they care for me, but their loyalty to Namjoon is above all. It's sort of a...forced friendship. A friendship tied down by blood."

I recall to Jungkook laughing with Yoongi, Hoseok and Jin in the hallways. They were always partners in class and stuck to each other like glue. Didn't seem like a forced friendship to me.

      "So...you've never fully trusted a person before?" I ask.

      Jungkook shakes his head. "How could I, after my mother left me? What about you?"

      I think to my parents and my little brother, Hyuk. Sure, they annoyed me but I'd give them my life. Also, I shared my secrets with Bora and our small group of friends.

     "Yeah..there's a few people I trust..." I admit.

     Jungkook mutters with envy, "Lucky you..."

"You could be apart of that circle. That circle of people I trust. If you want." I offered.

"I already told you that I can't tell you everything about me-"

      "You don't have to, Jungkook. But whatever you do tell and whatever relationship we share..I can keep it all under the wraps. Your secrets are all safe with me." I assured him.

Jungkook pouts to think for a few seconds. He nods. "Okay, I trust you with the secrets I told you... I mean I have been wholeheartedly trusting you. So I guess we are friends."

I nod. "Guess we are."

"Feels weird...feels like we're 10 years old again. Finally friends again." He laughs.

      I chuckle. "Friends to enemies to friends again. What a plot twist."

"A good plot twist," Jungkook points at me.

I nod in agreement.

"I haven't had a friend in awhile...so I really don't know how it works. Is there a particular ritual to initiate friendship?" He ponders.

"You're joking, right?" I snort.
His silent demeaner displays he's not.

"No, you don't really need a ritual. Friendships happen naturally...take me and Bora for instance," I explain.

He places one of his hands on on his palm, intently listening.

"We became friends in middle school. She always asked to borrow my pens and pencils...but she never returned them back."

Jungkook gasps in horror.
"Now that is cruel!"

"I know right? So one day, I went to her lunch table. And I demanded she give them back to me. Bora felt bad for what she did, but she apparently lost them all. But she gave me her cookies. I ate them and they were really good. So I accepted her apology."

Jungkook laughs. "Just like that?"

I snap my fingers. "Just like that. Sure, it irked me, but poor girl ended up crying. The next day, Bora brought brand new pens and shared them with me. It's embarrassing to say, but that has to be one of my favorite memories of all time."

Jungkook shakes his head. "It's not embarrassing. It's a really cute memory. So from then on, y'all became closer?"

"Yeah. We originally only talked about homework and borrowing each other pens, but it evolved to conversations about cute boys and inside jokes. She invited me to her lunch table, and introduced me to her group. It was a slow progression of friendship but now she has to my very best friend."

Jungkook whistles with admiration. "Wish I could easily make friends like that."

"The whole world makes friends like that...you just gotta keep yourself open to it."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna do that." He crosses his arms.

"Your loss." I stick my tongue out at him.

"It really is." He points at me, accepting defeat.

We both laugh. The atmosphere of the hotel quickly dissolved from depressing to cheerful.

"So I have a question...You said that I was everything you wanted to be. Can you further explain that?" I inquired him.

Jungkook groans. "See, this is why I hate crying, I easily give up my inner thoughts." He rubs his eyes.

"Sorry if it's too intrusive, I shouldn't have-"

"Listen, Snow. It's not. You have the right to know."

I smile when he calls me my nickname. "Okay. Please let me know."

"Well, like I said, you have qualities that resemble my mother."

I nod.

He continues. "And my mom has talked about you before....when she was alive."

"Woah, your mom talked about me with you? What did she say?" I nearly jump out of my seat.

"Well, in 2nd grade, we went to a birthday party at Jisoo's house-"

"You mean Ji Hee," I corrected him.

Jungkook waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah same thing. Anyways, everybody was picking on Donghyun."
Donghyun was a frail, short kid. He's since bloomed then and joined the football team. But when he was younger, he was an easy target to bully because of his sensitive personality.

"My mom noticed the kids making fun of him and was about to step in. But you did first. You were 7 years old and told everybody to stop humiliating him. And then you asked everyone to make fun of you instead."
I clearly remember that.

I snorted. "But then it backfired. Instead of the kids realizing what they did was wrong, they really did target me instead. And I was all alone for the rest of the party."

Jungkook laughed. "You weren't all alone..my mom also spoke with you."

"Oh yeah, she was really sweet. But to be honest, that day isn't one I'd like to remember. I became a joke for standing up for someone."

"Well, my mom thought it was really noble. I was a bystander back then at the party. Didn't stand up for Donghyun, didn't stand up for you. Just played games on the side. When we got home, my mom praised you so much. She said she wanted me to be just like you. Since then, I secretly copied and admired your actions."

I thought back to my childhood and my friendship with Jungkook.

"Really? But we weren't even that close. We occasionally hung out and I didn't know you cared for me that much." I was puzzled.

"Well, I honestly thought you were too good for me. I was scared to approach you sometimes because I didn't feel like I was worthy to be in your presence." He admitted.

My body shook with laughter. "I'm really not that great..."

"In my eyes, you were my childhood hero. Everything my mother wanted me to be. Then, I found out she took her life and left me, and I felt disgusted with you. But I also felt envious because my mom was proud of you but I didn't know if she was proud of me. That's why I was always competing with you."

"Wow, I don't know what to say-"

"My mom was the only source of purity in my life, and that was gone. That's why I despised you. I wanted to corrupt your innocence, just like my mother's death corrupted me."

His confession has me shocked but it also makes sense.

"I really don't know what to say..." I repeat.

Jungkook interrupts me. "You don't have to. I'm sorry for everything. I know it's not enough, but I genuinely feel bad for all the pain I've caused you."

I begin tearing up. "Jungkook you've went through hell and back when you were just a kid. You don't have to apologize for a few pranks."

"It isn't just about the pranks. It's about completely shutting you out for years, and never giving you a reason until now. We could've been helping each other out, but I ostracized you because of my own insecurities. I don't deserve you or you forgiveness." He covers his face with his hands, in shame.

I place my hand on his back.
"Please stop beating yourself about the past. I didn't even ask why until a few days ago. You told me to give you time, and you just told me now. I didn't even know why you stopped talking to me, yet I pranked you back maliciously. If anything, I'm sorry for not trying to understand the pain you went through it your perspective. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you suffered."

Jungkook is silent for a few seconds, avoiding my gaze.

Without thinking, I grab his hand and he looks at me. "Please forgive me," I say while tightly clutching his fingers.

He's completely stunned and his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. After a few seconds, he finally pulls his hand away. "I-I do. Do you forgive me?"

"Of course." I assure him.

Surprisingly, he pulls me into his arms. I return the hug.

"Just please...don't leave me alone. At least not tonight." He tightens his grasp around me, as if I'll disappear if i let go.
"I won't."

He continues hugging me, crying into my shoulder to relieve the pain of the past. I allow him, and we both sob into each other's arms until we drift asleep.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: been awhile since an update haha. I'm on vacation so yeah sorry =P hope you enjoyed this cheesy chapter lmfao. And hope it explains Jungkook's coldheartedness in the previous chapters. Happy New Year's btw! Lets pray 2018 is way better than 2017 ❤️
Oh yea my ig is @zosh.ia I follow back if u want to follow! 😘😘💯

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