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Last days
𝓓𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓪
On Monday morning I feel exhausted, the early hours of starting the lectures aren’t helping with my terrible mood. I haven’t seen Will yet because the first class isn’t starting for another five minutes, but I’m actually pleased about his absence. What he did was indescribably awful, and even though I’m aware of the mistakes that I’ve made in the past, mine can’t possibly compare to his own.
After I’d arrived back at the dorms, Anaya immediately understood the tears that streamed down my cheeks and the disappointment that was evident in my eyes. She knew that Will must’ve done something that really hurt me, but I couldn’t tell her the whole truth. I couldn’t share the details regarding the sex app. Anything else just came out of my mouth like a waterfall — him sleeping with other girls, his confession of falling in love with me, which was something that I haven’t mentioned to her before, and eventually, after she’d promised she wouldn’t tell anyone, I shared the events of that unforgettable night when Will dressed me in red, latex-looking leather.
Anaya was very supportive, and even though I noticed the anger and disgust towards Will grow in her brown eyes, she fought the urge to curse his name and throw insults at him just because she knew that I still had feelings for him. Instead, she made me a hot drink, spent her time on making sure that I’d be alright, and in the end, she reassured me that whatever decision I’ll make, she’ll be there to support me.
As I’m sat in my chair with my sight pinned to my hands, I hear someone approach me and take a seat at the desk beside me. Regardless of how many months Will and I have been sat next to each other during the lectures, his audacity to do it now still shocks me.
I quickly grab my stuff and discard them into the backpack of mine, shooting up off the chair, as if it was made of needles.
“Davina–”
“Don’t talk to me,” I growl under my breath, ploughing through the lecture hall, finding myself a new spot to sit at, making sure that it won’t be the one near Rayna.
Wherever she is now, she's most definitely staring at us, smirking at the way I darted from my desk.
Exhaling in exasperation, I re-unpack and focus all of my attention on the teacher, hoping I can survive this day without any drama.
~~~~~~~~~~
With the rays of early May sun shining down upon my face, I stride in the chosen direction, but then my heart almost jumps out of my chest when someone places his fingers on my shoulder and turns me around.
My stare rapidly changes into a murderous one. Will’s eyes connect to mine.
“Please, Davina–”
“Take your hand off me,” I demand aggressively, my tone is ominously cold.
Will immediately removes his fingers from my shoulder. His eyes withhold regret. “I am sorry. I really am,” he mutters, his eyes sadden and quite glisten, as if he was holding back tears.
“Goodbye, Will,” I say angrily, starting to make my way back to the dorms.
“Davina, please,” he begs, rushing after me. “I know what your birthday wish was.”
“Exactly. Was,” I spit, speeding up, wanting nothing as much now as to get back to my room.
“Forgive me, please. I know I've ruined everything but–”
“Leave me alone!” I shout, stopping and turning around to face him. “I don’t even want to look at you. Seeing you makes me sick,” I growl, shooting daggers at him, my loud words draw attention of nearby students.
“Let me fix it, please,” he entreats, relentless.
“Fix it!?” I laugh humourlessly. “I saw you fix your problems!” I holler, totally oblivious to the snickers and whispers that rise among the onlookers.
“Davina, please,” he murmurs quietly, his chin trembles infinitesimally. “I promise not to do it ever again. Just forgive me.”
“I’d have to be out of my mind to forgive you.” I snort, shaking my head, turning on my heel and beginning to walk away.
But then I feel it, him grasping my hand and causing my feet to come to a halt. As I turn around, my eyes widen at the sight of him being down on his knees, here, in front of everyone.
“Please,” he begs in a faint voice, his eyes brim with tears. “You know how I feel about you. I can’t lose you.”
I remain silent, ignoring the shocked stares and comments that spread across the campus. Everyone watches us closely. The entertainment of William Reyman being on his knees in front of a girl, begging for forgiveness, is really attracting more and more people to gather around.
“If you thought that apologizing publicly was going to make me forgive you, then you were really wrong.” I laugh dryly, snatching my hand from his grasp.
“I know I fucked up,” he mutters, his voice conveys regret. “What can I do to win you back? Just say it, I’ll do it.”
“Win me back?” I laugh, repeating his words in a scornful manner. “I’m not a prize at a fairground, Will.”
“I know you’re not. I just . . . I don’t know what to do.” He sighs, his shoulders slump.
“You know what you can do?” I whisper, leaning down so my eyes meet his. “You can go and fuck another girl, thinking how she is everything but me,” I add, shooting him the fakest smile I can afford.
“I don’t want them. I want you,” he murmurs frankly.
“You had me. Throughout all these months you had me, Will, and you knew it!”
“I was scared–”
“No, don’t you even use your past as an excuse again. You’ve fed me enough of your hypocrisy.”
“I’m not going to give up on you.”
“Well, you should, because I’m done with you,” I reply dryly, my hard eyes remain locked on his knelt presence.
“You don’t really mean it,” he says in a sorrow voice.
I arch my eyebrows in disbelief. Then I crouch down, my fierce stare holds his sad one. A subtle, merciless smile gently stretches my lips as I gaze into his eyes. “Oh, Will,” I say in a calm, soft voice, as if I had a child in front of me. “The only thing I’ve ever meant this much was when I told Nathan that I loved him,” I add, and seeing the way his face falls at my words, I pat him on the shoulder and standing back up, I start to make my way to the dorms.
~~~~~~~~~~
One month later
It’s been a long few weeks. Just as Will had promised, he just wouldn’t give up on apologizing and trying to make things right, even though I’ve been using the harshest ways possible to reject him. I just couldn’t get rid of the image of that girl tied up on his bed from my head. It was constantly haunting me every single time when he approached me.
The school year was coming to an end, tomorrow was its last day, which meant that I was officially flying out to America in three days. I honestly couldn’t wait this whole time, desperately wanting to find myself as far from Will as possible.
“Did you pack everything?” Anaya asks, watching me fill up my suitcase.
Because we’re finishing school tomorrow, we decided to already clean the dorm of our belongings until we come back here in September.
“Yeah, I just need to empty the–” My breath hitches as I pull the bottom drawer open, my sight falls upon the hoodie that I got from Nathan for Christmas.
“You okay?” Anaya asks, confused.
“Yeah,” I respond in a hoarse voice, glancing over at the box with books that I've already taped close. I threw them in so hastily that I must’ve overlooked the one that Nathan created for me.
“It doesn’t look like something you normally wear,” she points out, nodding with her head at the hoodie.
“It’s from Nathan,” I murmur, stroking the soft, cotton fabric with my hand.
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, placing it in the suitcase. “The day I got it from him was also our last day together." I sigh. “He wanted me to give Will a chance.”
“And you’ve tried.” She shrugs. “Has he left you alone yet?”
“No.” I groan in frustration.
“Is he going to?” she asks, curious.
“He’ll have no other choice. I’m flying out in three days.”
“You know that I hate him for what he’s done to you, yeah?” she questions gingerly, and I nod my head. “But don’t you think that you should clear the air between you two before you go to America? Just for your own peace of mind?”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” I grumble evasively.
“I can’t believe that I’m going to say this but . . . ” She sighs heavily. “It’s been a month, and there wasn’t a single day when he didn’t try to apologize to you. Sometimes even twice or three times a day.”
“Where are you going with this?” I shoot her an irritated look.
“He quite proved that he really wants to make you forgive him. Just give him a chance.”
“Why would I?” I snort sarcastically, and then frown, hearing a knock on our door.
“Here’s your answer.” She gives me a knowing look. “I’m starting to have nightmares about people knocking on our door, Davina,” she says in a serious tone, and I involuntarily laugh.
“I’m not going to open,” I mutter assertively, focusing on packing.
“Fine! I’ll do it then,” she replies in a resigned voice, and scuttles over to the door, swinging it open seconds later.
I don’t even bother to glance over to the side. I already know that it’s Will — his another attempt of trying to fix his mistake.
“I’ll leave you to it,” Anaya says to him.
I find myself unconsciously gripping into the edges of the suitcase. My mouth rapidly sets into a mulish line just like it does each time he tries to say sorry.
“Hey,” he mutters, anxious, warily making his way towards me.
“The answer is no, Will,” I say coldly, gluing my sight to the suitcase.
“I didn’t come here to apologize,” he says, rendering me shocked. “You know that I am sorry, and I’ll always be, but it’s been a month and you must be really tired of me invading your space on the daily,” he mutters, and with the corner of my eye I can see the way he gauges my reaction. “So . . . before you fly out, if you feel like seeing me for one last time, which I highly doubt that you will, just call me, okay?” He throws this idea at me, and after a brief moment of silence, he leaves the room.
~~~~~~~~~~
Three days have literally slipped by. Now it’s two in the morning, and I’m blankly staring at my ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Anaya's words have been constantly playing on my mind — the idea of sorting things out between me and Will before I leave for my holidays. After all, he’s been unstoppably trying to apologize.
Having taken a deep breath, I reach for my phone and unlock its screen. My thumb hovers above Will’s name as I go into my contacts, my teeth lock on my bottom lip.
Oh, for heaven’s sake. Just do it. My subconscious rolls her eyes and rolls to the side in her bed.
With my mind still buzzing, I press the green handset and dial his number. To my surprise, he picks up almost immediately, even though it’s really late.
“Hello?” he says warily.
For a short moment I remain silent, but then words eventually roll off my tongue. “Meet me at my house at seven if you want to say goodbye,” I mutter, my heart for some reason pounds loudly against my ribs.
“Really?” Shock and happiness coat his voice.
“Yes, really.”
“Yeah, I mean, sure. I’ll be there,” he gushes, excited.
I involuntarily smile.
“You can go to the airport with us if you want to,” I offer, already knowing his answer.
“I can drive you there if you don’t mind?” he asks gingerly, petrified of another rejection.
I ponder for a minute, unsure what to say. Eventually, I make my mind up and answer, “Sounds good to me. I’ll see you at seven.”
“See you at seven,” he says. “Goodnight, Davina.”
“Goodnight, Will,” I reply, and hang up. Then I almost immediately fall asleep.
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