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I'm petrified

We've been sat at the pub for over an hour now. The only people chatting are me and Rayna. Will hasn't said much since the very moment he saw Nathan, and Nathan . . . he seems utterly spaced out. He hasn't even spoken up once, only sporadically nodded his head.

I earnestly want to hold his hand, but as I'm about to proffer my own, he promptly slides his fingers into the pocket of his jeans. It obviously doesn't go unnoticed, which makes me feel incredibly embarrassed.

What have I done? Why is he so cold towards me?

Will breaks the silence, "What's up with you two?" Surprisingly, he doesn't address this question solely to me.

At the sound of his voice, Nathan's forehead alarmingly creases. He then scowls at Will.

Oh dear.

"Since when what happens in my relationship is any of your bussiness?" he snaps.

Will overlooks his inflamed irritation. "Davina is my friend-"

Nathan's sudden laugh is more bitter that the beer that I had ordered. "Cut that nonsense, Reyman. We both know you wish she was more than just your friend," he says bluntly.

My eyes become round in dread. I don't want them to brawl. How does he even know about Will having a crush on me? Has Rayna told him?

I instinctively kick her in the ankle, raising an eyebrow, awaiting an answer. She just makes a confused face and stealthily shrugs her tiny shoulders.

I feel queasy from the growing uneasiness, yet I venture to ask, "What are you talking about?" I lock eyes with Nathan.

His nostrils flare in disgust. "He fancies you," he spits.

I lock the fact of knowing the truth behind a veil of surprise. "What?" I shift my head to Will. The end of our friendship is coming inevitably, and just the thought of it makes my eyes get flooded with tears.

Will on the other hand, he doesn't say or do anything. He just remains composed, pretending that he didn't hear what my boyfriend said to him.

"Go on, Reyman. Tell her, or I will," Nathan encourages in a dry tone.

I feel suddenly intrigued. "Tell me what?"

"Remember the party we met at? The one from almost two months ago?" Nathan rushes with explanations, his mouth is pressed into a hard line.

"I do?" I reply, confused. "Why?"

Nathan's face distorts in an ominously serene smile. "Well, us boys, including your friend here," he points at Will with his head, "we were talking about girls, and which one of you we found the most attractive."

"I'm guessing he said my name?" I ask, unperturbed.

I can't comprehend the reason behind Nathan's fury. If I was the girl that Will picked that night, that's just a nice compliment.

Nathan scoffs. "Not only did he say your name. He was also gesturing all the ways in which he would, as he said it himself, 'fuck you so hard'. He then told us how much you'd love it.

My eyes cast away to Will. "Is that true?" I ask.

Rayna nervously sips on her drink.

Will spins a coaster on the table. He seems unfazed. "We didn't know each other back then. I only said those things to make lads laugh. I had no other intentions."

The fact that he not only admitted to it, but did it so freely, leaves me somewhat annoyed. I would have never thought that Will, one of my two best friends, could say such things about me just to have a banter and go up in someone's estimation.

Nathan interjects, "Oh, so you think that saying you'd fuck her hard is okay just because you two weren't friends back then?"

There is a rapid change in Will's so far unfathomable expression. "Seems to me that you're jealous only because you know that I could do her so much better than you," he snaps back.

My stomach churns in trepidation at the way malice flickered in Nathan's now dark-green eyes. I grab a tight hold of his arm to forestall him from starting an unnecessary fight.

"Take it back, or-" he suddenly goes quiet, causing everyone at the table to focus their curious eyes on me. "Your phone's ringing," he states.

My breath catches in my throat. "Is it?" I ask casually. I don't want to take it out. It might be the app, and I'd rather not risk it.

"Won't you pick it up?" he quizzes. Something in his eyes makes me think that he actually wants me to do it.

My face blanches slightly. "No. It can wait." I reach out for my drink.

Nathan decides to remain mercilessly insistent. "You didn't even check who it is. What if it's something important? You should get it," he prompts.

His encouragement and off behaviour bring a knot to my stomach. Does he know?

I fidget vaguely in my seat. "If it is, then they'll call me again." My shoulders move in a careless shrug. "I came here to have a drink with my boyfriend and friends, not to be yapping on the phone all evening."

Calling Will a friend felt a bit awkward and forced now. I've got no idea how to feel about him anymore. This whole situation made me see him in a brand new light.

"This is ridiculous." Nathan shoots up to his feet.

"Where are you going?" I ask, confused. I don't want him to leave. Just the though of him being angry with me again makes my heart sink.

Nathan tosses a tenner onto the table. "Somewhere where I won't have to see his face," he bellows, and then storms out of the pub before I even manage to stop him.

"I told you he's got no sense of humour," Will makes this remark, looking at Rayna, intentionally avoiding any eye contact with me.

His innocent act makes me want to bash his face against the table.

Then, as if the debacle of this evening wasn't already enough, my cell chimes, a new notification pops up on my screen. '𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚜."

~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday, right after Nathan had left the pub, we all decided to head back to our dorms. None of us was in the mood to carry on drinking. Rayna apologized to me in private for coming up with that silly idea of trying to make the guys reach a truce.

At least now we know why they've got such an incandescent hatred for each other.

Rayna shoulders her way into a jacket. "I'm going shopping. Do you need anything?"

"Maybe something to snack on?" I reply, flipping through one of weighty volumes that professor Cohen ordered us to borrow from the library.

A merry jiggle of keys resounds in the room as Rayba collects them from her bedside table. "Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

"See you soon." I salute from above the pages.

Rayna closes the door with a quiet click.

I didn't really plan on studying, but since Nathan decided to ignore me again, I haven't got much else to do.

I don't understand where my fault lies in all this. Have I even done anything wrong? I didn't push them into that ridiculous argument, though, the more I think about it, the more I realize that Nathan was already cross before we even had gone to the pub.

An intense feeling of frustration joilts through me when my phone starts ringing, yet it promptly diminishes because I think that it might be him, Nathan, however, one look at my screen proves me wrong. It's the app again.

I draw in an exasperated breath and answer the call. "Hi," I say sweetly. "Hello?" I frown because all I can hear is silence.

"I knew it."

My stomach immediately plummets to the floor. I'm grateful for being sat on a chair because if I wasn't, my legs would have definitely failed me. My hands are shaking to such an extent that hanging up suddenly occurs really elusive.

A few desperate trials later, I eventually manage to click on the red handset icon.

Nathan.

Oh my god.

What am I going to do now?

His sinister voice echoes in the halls. "DAVINAAA!!!"

Pale as a ghost, I rack my brain for an excuse, or at least a place to hide so I can buy myself some time, but I'm too slow.

The door to my room flies ajar, revealing Nathan's rigid face at its threshold. He then quickly traverses the distance separating us, causing me to glue my back to the wall. I feel aghast.

I watch him ball his hands into fists whilst he sweeps the room with his darkened eyes, as if searching for something he could defuse his anger on. He then retrieves his furious sight to me. "What is wrong with you!!?" he hollers.

"I . . . Let me-"

"Explain?" His chuckle is scornful and beraft of humour. "What do you want to explain!? That you've been talking to some guys, letting them jerk off to your voice for money?" His jaw clenches visibly. "What if I did this to you!?"

He's got a valid point. "How did you even find out?" My voice is timid.

He snorts. "You want to know how?" His hand disappears into the back pocket of his jeans. "There you go." Like a magician, he tosses the S&S card at me that somehow has come into his possession.

A single wrinkle appears on my forehead. "Where did you get it from?"

"Your desk. I found it in the drawer after you'd asked me to get you a hair pin. I bet you forgot it was there." His eyes narrow in anger. "You were never going to tell me, were you?"

Tears force themselves upon my eyes. "No," I mutter, not daring to look at him.

Nathan shakes his head in disbelief, a bitter chuckle escapes his mouth. "You know what? At first, I thought the business card might've been Rayna's. I didn't want to believe that you would do such a disgusting thing, but then, everything started to make sense; your card being declined, your mood swings and the fact that you didn't want to talk to me about neither of those things, yet I was still unsure, so I had rung your mother. Guess what? Turns out there was no argument between you and her, but it's not much of a shocker to you, is it?" He shakes his head again and fiercely sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth. "I knew that you were lying about something, so when your phone rang at the pub, and you began making excuses so you wouldn't have to pick it up, then it became all clear that the business card was yours."

I feel abashed for hurting him and being dishonest. "I'm sorry," I whisper with my eyes directed at the floor.

Nathan enlarges the distance between us in order to simmer down. For some reason he's not leaving the room, instead, he starts typing away on his phone.

My head is buzzing. I'm still transfixed, trying to process everything that's just happened.

Suddenly, his eyes find their way back to my tensed presence. "Done," he announces in a dry tone, discarding his phone to his pocket.

My heart momentarily clenches. Of course he's going to break up with me. Bitter tears prick my eyes as I wait for him to say, 'Done. We're done.'

His next words stupefy me.

"I sent you the money so you can pay for you dorm and buy yourself some food for another three weeks." His tone is much calmer now.

"Huh?" Is all I can muster.

He breathes a long sigh of irritation. "If you want us to be together, you will accept this money. I also expect you to delete that app, now, so I can see it with my own eyes."

I don't falter to obey his words even for a single second. Instantly, I obtain my phone into my hands. The relief that I'm feeling is indescribable. I genuinely thought that we were done.

I go straight into the app settings and rest my thumb on the '𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝' option, but instead of getting rid of my profile, I get another notification. Bemused, I quickly read through it. My stomach sinks.

Nathan tucks a questioning brow. "What's wrong?" he asks, the dregs of his fury are still tinted within his words.

My mouth sets into an awkward line. "It won't let me delete it, unless I pay a breach penalty first."

Please, don't ask how much it is.

Vexation touches his eyes anew. "A penalty? What for?" He frowns.

I anxiously clear my throat and manage to squeeze out some words. "Well, I didn't really read the terms . . ." I scratch my head. "Apparently, if you want to delete your profile before you've had it for three months, you need to pay for it."

"Fine, how much is it?"

"No, Nathan-"

Frustration lifts his voice. "How much?"

I chew on my lip. "Five thousand pounds."

Nathan freezes, absolutely stunned. He then suddenly starts laughing like a lunatic.

"I didn't know, I swear," I gush, trying to justify my actions.

He shakes his head, grinning, vacantly staring ahead.

My begging voice emerges. "I'll ignore the calls and won't use the app until I can delete it, I promise."

Nathan looks at me askance. I don't blame him for not trusting me anymore. After all, I am the culprit of this adverse situation.

"Fine," he finally says, and proceeds to walk towards the door.

Please, don't leave me.

"I love you," I gush, the realization of what I've just said strikes me right after.

Uncertainty grips my heart. I've got no clue whether he feels the same way about me. I've confessed my love for him for the first time, and it might have not been the greatest moment to do it, but I had to say it. I can't just let him walk out like this, all angry and disappointed, thinking that he means nothing to me since I decided to join a sex phone company.

Nathan's hand stalls on the door handle. For a brief moment he doesn't say anything. He then turns his head to me, his face contorts no emotions apart from his eyes that soften and turn a bit reddish.

I know how sensitive he really is, yet I was so unsolicitous at hurting him. The feeling of guilt instantly chokes me.

"I love you too," he replies quietly, and disappears behind the door.

I don't know why, but for some reason I'm petrified. Petrified that I will never see him again.

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Hope you're enjoying the story. Thank you for reading :)