↠18↞ Toxic

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Toxic

Kiss him!? Kiss Will!?

Just the thought of it hinders my ability to function. My heart pounds in my chest like a bass drum. I feel lightheaded.

Will circles his arm around my waist. "So?" he whispers into the dip at the base of my neck, then runs his tongue along my cleavage, licking off the drops of water that his wet hair adorned my skin with. "Will you kiss me?"

My breath staggers. The world around me spins in circles like a carousel. I find myself unable to answer. Words simply fail me at the sensation of his hands digging into each side of my waist.

His trails his lips down my stomach, teasing me through the thin fabric of my shirt. "Is that a yes?" he asks, his tone is somewhat triumphant. He knows that I can't defy him.

Consciously, or not, my lips part slightly when his cold fingers slide under my shirt. He lifts himself back up, connecting his ablaze eyes to mine.

I haven't got a clue when, or why, but I place my hands on his firm torso. The solidity underneath my fingertips shortens my breathing. He's in such a great form.

His eyes are luminous with mirth. He gleans pleasure from watching me lose control.

My lips begin to tingle under his intense stare. All of a sudden, I feel the urge to kiss him. I stand on my tiptoes, petrified of what I'm about to do, but he momentarily pulls away, his lips stretch in a contemptuous grin.

What the hell?

"Unbelievable." He shakes his head. "You really thought that I was going to kiss you." His disdainful laugh bounces off the walls.

I feel confused. "Isn't it exactly what you wanted?"

Will pinches the bridge of his nose. "Gosh, you're so toxic." He takes a few steps backwards, as if I was radioactive. "You're ready to cheat on your boyfriend, but you're not ready to dump him." His eyes are full of judgement. "Did you even think about him for a moment?"

My face instantly falls because, no, I didn't.

My hesitation comes to Will's notice. "If you look right, there is the door. I'm sure you know how to use it," he states coldly.

His words weigh my chest. He doesn't want me here. No one wants a cheater.

I get a rapid hold of myself. "What about the contract?" I ask, nervous.

Will takes his time on cerebrating. Then, without giving me any answer, he saunters off to his chest of drawers and pulls a black top over his head.

"Hello?" I ask, irritated.

"Things can stay the way they are, but under one condition." He turns around to look at me. His eyes are grave. "You really won't disobey me anymore."

I feel like punching him. Money must've made him think that he's somehow superior. To me, however, he's just an eighteen-year-old, spoiled guy. I can't believe that I wanted to kiss him a moment ago. "Okay, deal," I acquiesce. "What about me having sex with Nathan? Is this still a ban?"

Will gives an abrupt laugh of disbelief. "The selfishness is killing me, man." He shakes his head. "You've literally just let me lick your skin, and now you're thinking about having sex with your boyfriend? Do you even care about anyone else but yourself?"

I blink, astonished. "First of all, Mr. Perfect, I wouldn't even be here, if you didn't steal my money."

Will points his index finger at me. "Don't you put the blame on me. I might have stolen from you, but your disloyalty and mendacity towards your boyfriend has got nothing to do with me, or what I've done. Every day that passes by, you've got the freedom of choice, yet you still lie to him rather than tell him the truth or just simply leave him."

"The truth!?" I half-laugh. "Are you for real? You made it very clear during our unforgettable meeting at S&S that I can't tell anyone about the contract."

"I'm not talking about the contract."

My brow furrows.

His hands disappear in the loose pockets of his grey shorts. "You can't choose. Between him and me. It's unhealthy."

"You?" I gape at him in incredulity. "There is no you, Will. There is just me and Nathan, so leave your worrying obsession out of it."

"Really?" He raises his brows. There is an ominous glint to his stare. "Then why did you let me push my body against yours in the kitchen? It was before you became my servant. And why did your breath shorten when I told you to kiss me? Why didn't you just simply refuse? Because you were scared that I'd get rid of you? No, it's because you were enjoying my touch. You're just lying to yourself that that's not the way it is, but guess what, Davina? I know that you want me."

Blood boils in my veins. "I love Nathan." I hiss. "You are just an obstacle standing in the way. If not the contract, I wouldn't have even spoken to you after what you'd done." My voice thumps in my ears. Then, spiraling out of control, I slap him.

Will's face turns impassive. My eyes become round in a sudden surge of dread.

His voice emerges, and when it does, it's alarmingly emotionless. "Looks like you two are a great match for each other. Using violence to solve your problems."

"Will, I-"

"Get out, Davina," he says, and noticing that I'm still stood in his room, he lifts his voice. "Get the fuck out!"

I shudder at his outburst, yet I'm transfixed, unable to leave.

Will darts towards the door and wrenches it open, gesturing that I should go.

"I really am-"

"I don't want to hear it. Just leave, please." His tone changes from enraged to sorrowful.

My mouth settles into a remorseful line. "Okay," I murmur, and leave.

~~~~~~~~~~

"You're finally back!" Rayna smiles, pausing whatever she was watching on her laptop. "How was it?"

I discard my jacket onto a hook. "I see you're having a lazy, hangover-please-be-over day."

"I kinda have to. I'm not feeling very well." She shrugs and keeps intently observing me, as if she could read the past of being in Nathan's house from my expression. "So? What are his parents like?"

"Very lovely." My voice is dull.

I can't focus on the conversation because my mind is stall on Will, or rather the way I unlawfully slapped him.

Rayna picks up on my quietness. "Did something happen?"

"No," I reassure. "We had a wonderful afternoon. I really enjoyed it."

"Then what's the matter? I can tell that something's bothering you." Rayna embraces Mr. Sponge and turns him in my direction, as if she wanted him to participate in our conversation.

Just not that Imma-judge-you cushion.

I sit heavily onto my bed. "Well," I pause, uncertain how to put it. I'm not even sure whether I understand my own feelings. My life's been quite hectic lately.

"Well?" Rayna raises a brow, awaiting.

I want to tell her everything, but I know that I can't.

"It's nothing." I dismissively wave my hand. "Can we just watch something together?" I flash her a faint, entreating smile.

She holds the duvet open, and I promptly squeeze in, first removing my shoes.

"You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?" she asks.

I nod. "I know."

My eyes immediately focus on the screen, yet my mind drifts away. I have done them all wrong; Rayna for being untruthful with her, Nathan for the exact same reason, plus being two-timing, and Will, well, I shouldn't have slapped him, even though he kind of deserved it.

If anyone deserves a slap, it's you. My subconscious jeers at me, and I can not do anything but fully agree.

~~~~~~~~~~

When the movie ends, it's already ten. Rayna is dead asleep, which makes me turn off her laptop, and carefully slip out of the bed to place the computer back on the desk.

For some reason I don't feel weary at all. My temples pulsate from the multitude of thoughts that have been constantly running throught my head for the last two hours. I can't believe I dared to hit Will. Out of everything I could have done, I chose the worst. I wouldn't be even surprised now, if he changes his mind again, and decides to get rid of me.

I spend good thirthy minutes on mulling this over. This idle state of being sat on my bed drives me mad. I know that I have to fix my mistake, otherwise, the guilt of constantly making the wrong decisions will eat me alive.

I glimpse at Rayna. She's still somewhere in the lands of her slumber.

I sneak out the dorm, quietly closing the door behind me.

Now what?

As I'm standing in the empty hallway, I become less and less sure of the idea that crossed my mind when I left the room. I decide to do it anyway, and that's how I find myself in front of Will's door.

Reminding myself of the late hour, and that he's probably still furious, I let myself in without knocking. The room is shrouded in darkness. The inability to see anything makes me quite nervous.

His chill voice comes from the shadows. "Are we sleepwalking?"

My eyes begin to slowly adjust to the lack of light. "I didn't mean to wake you. If I did, then I'm sorry." My uneasiness makes the apology sound tremulous.

I linger in the middle of the room, not knowing what else to say. Kai isn't here again, which makes me think that he might be still celebrating his birthday somewhere.

"If you didn't think you'd catch me awake, why did you come here then? Want to rob me?"

His bold question makes my skin itch with irritation. "Actually . . . I wanted to-" I tail off. My heartbeat thumps in my ears just at the thought of saying whatever came to my mind out loud.

Will sits up straight. A trace of curiosity appears on his face. "I'm listening," he encourages.

"I want to sleep next to you," I blurt out. I don't know what's gotten into me. What made me say this? My face flushes scarlet.

Will remains quiet for a moment, then eventually says, "Oh." A single wrinkle appears on his forehead. "I mean . . . okay." He shrugs, and to my surprise, he holds the duvet open.

I gulp, nonplussed. I must've also taken the deepest breath in my entire life.

Eventually, I emerge by the edge of his bed. Inexplicable sympathy grips my throat when his visage clears out in front of me, no more concealed by darkness.

Will's face is unfathomable. His nose is contused, the area around his black eyes somewhat swollen. Nathan must've not regretted his strength on the strike.

Suddenly, the coldness of Will's hands meets the warmth of my hips. I can't help but inhale sharply.

He imprisons his lower lip in between his teeth, simultaneously incarcerating my body in the sensation of his fingers diving underneath my T-shirt.

"I like your shorts," he compliments.

I quickly understand that it's actually the first time he sees me wear something different to jeans or leggings. I shake this meaningless thought from my mind. There is something else I should be focusing on.

"I am really sorry, " I gush, not wanting to be interrupted nor silenced. "I shouldn't have slapped you. I don't know what's gotten into me."

He lets a prolonged breath out. "It's okay. Just don't do it anymore."

My whole body relaxes at his response. "Okay," I mutter back.

Will disengages his hands from my skin and lies back in bed, again inviting me to join him by holding the duvet open.

I try to calm my breathing. I can't believe that I came up with this idea. I don't want to protest now, though, because it will most likely upset him, and I literally just won back his pacific side. I can't lose it.

I lie down next to him, our bodies aren't touching, neither of us is talking.

A couple of minutes tick on by. We remain resolute in staying silent. Eventually, Will's breathing gradually slows down, making it clear that he fell asleep.

Unlike his, my mind is working at peak speed. I can't comprehend that me and him - Will - are sharing the same bed. I don't know how to feel about this.

Well, let me tell you how your boyfriend would feel about this. Do you even remember his name? It's Nathan, Nathan, Nathan . . . My subconscious tortures.

I clench my eyes, focusing on getting that thought out of my mind.

When I finally manage to fight the guilt of being here, cheating on Nathan, Will unconsciously decides to shift in his sleep.

The booming of my heart is almost orchestral. I stare down at his hand. Its back touches the back of my own. His skin is warm and delicate. It makes me wonder what'd it actually feel like to hold his hand.

Without thinking, I carefully and very gently interlock our fingers, continuously watching Will's face to make sure that he's not waking up.

His relaxed palm feels soft and pillowy. Delicate. I hate myself for loving this sensation.

Loving. Love. I am in love, I suddenly remember.

Nathan.

As his name crosses my mind, and guilt makes the acid in my stomach roil, I shoot up off the bed and sprint for the door. However, before I leave, I shoot one last glimpse towards Will's peaceful face.

What is he going to think when he wakes up and sees that I'm gone? Is he going to be relieved, or rather disappointed?

Not wanting to think about it too much, I sneak out from the room and noiselessly close the door behind me. Then I almost die when my heart stops at the sight of Kai.

Hello, trouble.

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