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My master

Anxiety blossoms in my belly. I move away from Will, which results in him giving me a funny, quite confused look. I can't let him see what I'm really doing on my phone. My fingers tremble vaguely - most of my nerves I've managed to quell somehow. I just can't let my body betray how petrified I am.

I inhale deeply and hold the breath for much longer than I intended. I need to mentally prepare myself for the worst, otherwise, I'll probably faint.

I slowly blow my cheeks out, feeling my insides twist and turn, and clench and stir. I'm nauseous and restless. If I started bouncing my leg now, I'd make Will jump on the bed like it's a trampoline.

I'm actually kind of glad that he's here, and so is Rayna. Their presence, even though they haven't got a clue what's happening, makes me feel less lonely, like, I'm not left with this problem on my own.

Okay. Now or never.

My stomach churns again. I mentally cross my fingers for the price to be non-existent, or low, so I can pay the required percentage of the total sum to free myself from the obligation of providing a service.

My subconscious giggles scornfully. You didn't even have enough money to pay for your rent.

I'll get it somehow. I'll get a job. A normal one.

I anxiously bite on my lip and click on the notification bar to check the message.

'𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝚂𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 479 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜.'

My stomach drops in dread. The fright, however, quickly transforms into disbelief and panic. I stare blankly ahead of me.

Ninety thousand pounds . . .

Oh my god. I feel like crying.

The world around me starts spinning, and I know that if I stand up now and try storming into the bathroom so I can blub, I won't even make it there because I'll collapse first.

I ignore the lump in my throat and swallow hard. I need to focus. I need to read the rest of the message, because yeah, there is more to it.

I blink a bunch of times for my eyes to absorb the tears that anticipated at their rims, but never rolled down. I can't let Rayna and Will see me cry again. They would understand that something happened, especially Rayna, as she's well aware of me using the app. She might be blonde, but despite the stereotypes, she ain't dumb. She would immediately come to the right conclusion.

When Will lays his eyes on me and frowns, I lock my feelings behind a veil, pretending to be casually scrolling through social media.

"You good?" he asks in a concerned voice.

"Yeah," I murmur. "Wonderful."

He looks at me oddly, but then he shakes his head and shrugs, turning his attention back to his phone.

I swallow hard and look down at the screen of mine.

'𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚝 8.𝚙𝚖 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂&𝚂 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚠.'

Amazing. Just fucking great!

Beyond vexed and unsure what to do now, I grab the sandwich I began to eat before, and I bite into it with anger.

Will turns his head to me, looking surprised, mostly confused, a bit worried. "I think I've just witnessed a miracle," he says, commenting on me finally having some food.

"I'm stress eating," I blurt out, then instantly stop chewing once the realization of what I've just confessed dawns on me, dazzling and terrifying, as if I was an introvert, forced into standing in the spotlight.

Will puts his phone aside and arches a brow, naturally intrigued. "Stress eating?" he asks.

Even Rayna stopped scrolling through her phone.

Congratulations. Good luck with explaining yourself.

I anxiously bite on my lip. "Well, Nathan's mad at me because of you. Now I have to fix it." I smile on the inside, quite happy with the lie that I came up with.

Will's black eyes glow with indignation. "I haven't done anything. It was your choice not to tell him how you were feeling."

"You entered his zone," I reply as if I was talking about an animal.

Will gives a bitter laugh. "What? Your bed?" His grim humour seems to grow. "I'm not a square. Unlike him, I'd rather fuck my girl . . . nevermind."

Rayna seems animated by the veer of this conversation. "No, no. Please, carry on."

I fold my arms across my chest. "Yeah, carry on." I'm quite interested in what he wanted to say.

Will has never really spoken to either of us about his sex life, even though we've been open to him about ours. Well, that was back when I still thought that him and I could be friends.

He tilts his head quizzically. "Why do you want to know? Neither of you nuns could take my cock fully in anyway."

My subconscious closes my mouth. Just because he implied it, doesn't mean you should already try proving him wrong. She chides me.

Rayna crosses her arms over her chest. "Don't flatter yourself by thinking that I would actually want to have sex with you." She snorts.

Will's eyes crease with slight amusement. The confidence in his stare, especially now, during our sex-talk, really adds to his handsomeness. "That's because you don't know my possibilities." He then turns his head to me. "I wasn't joking when I said that I could fuck you so much better."

His bold words make my stomach somersault. I'm just glad that Nathan isn't here, because if he was, and if he heard this, he'd undoubtedly pick up a fight.

I don't say anything back. I just relish the last moments of my happiness. For a second, due to Will and Rayna, I don't think about my new master, or who it could be. Unfortunately, the respite doesn't last long. It all comes crushing down on me anew, heavy and suffocating, as if I was stood under a waterfall of rubble.

Three months. Then it will be all over.

And I probably won't be the same person anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~

The following day was about to become just another red cross on a calendar. I decided to stay in bed instead of going for the lectures. Rayna was obviously concerned about my well-being, so I just explained that I've had a lot on my mind lately, and needed some rest. She didn't argue with me. Instead, she let me do what's best for me, and then she left for school, right after she'd made sure that there was enough food and water on my desk.

When she rushed out of the room as she was almost late, I crambled out of bed and darted to the bathroom. I don't even know how many times I actually threw up. All I know is that I stopped counting at six.

The paralyzing fear of meeting my master tonight took complete control over my body. I was frightened to such an extent that my hands were constantly shaking, my legs could barely lead me back to my bed. The idea of relocating to another country and changing my name must've crossed my mind at least a few times, but I gave it up in the end, knowing that it wouldn't take much for anyone to find me. The person who ripped me off my money had no problem with doing so, which left me with a thought that the company surely has got the access to my data. They must know who I am. The real me.

As for Nathan, he hasn't messaged me since the confrontation he'd had with Will in my room. I don't blame him for not texting me. He must've had enough of my shenanigans. Seeing Will being sat on my bed surely made him have second thoughts about my honesty, but how could I look him in the eye and say that I wouldn't lie to him, if that's exactly what I've been recently doing?

I know that I should at least send him a text. Apologize for choosing to spend time with Will and Rayna rather than him, but I just can't do it. The less I talk to him, the easier it should become to actually deal with the upcoming, inevitable break up.

When Rayna trudges into the room, I rapidly start having the food that she's left for me. I don't want her to scold me for starving myself to death.

She throws herself onto a mattress. "Hey." She stretches her arms, as if in a desperate attempt of hugging the bed. Her voice indicates how tired she is.

I chuckle. "I actually let myself think that you were talking to me."

Her laughter fills the room. "Oh, shush you." She sits up straight. "Be glad you stayed here. Today was so boring."

"Was it?" I ask, biting into the sandwich.

"Yeah," she responds theatrically. She then reaches out for the other half of the sandwich. "How did you spend your day then?" she asks, munching.

You know, I was just vomitting my guts out. Nothing extraordinary.

I shrug. "In bed."

"That sounds boring, doesn't it?" She grabs a bottle of water from a bedside table and drinks some of it. "Any plans for tonight?" She screws the lid back on.

"Well . . ." I think of a way of putting it.

"Don't tell me you're going out with Nathan." Her eyes widen judgementally. "He acted like a prick."

"I know." I sigh. "But yes, I'm actually busy. And no, I'm not spending the evening with Nathan."

"Then what are you going to do?" She fires questions like a cannon.

I blink, trawling my brain for another lie. "I have to . . . well . . . I am kind of going to see someone?" I grimace in embarrassment of being a cretin, but also because my response was feeble and not very convincing.

Rayna's mouth flies open. "Wait. Are you cheating on him?"

I shake my head in incredulity. "Of course I'm not." I huff. "It's . . . a bussiness thing."

Her face instantly brightens. "Oh, so it's a job interview. What have you applied for?"

Go on, tell her. My subconscious grins, ready for the drama.

I shrug. "Waitressing. I know it's not much, but restaurants offer both: afternoon and evening shifts. I think it's perfect."

Rayna gives a nod of approval. "I totally agree." She smiles. "What place is it?"

My subconscious rolls in the aisles.

"Seco Lounge." I shrug again. That's the first place that came to my mind because I used to work there when I was younger.

Rayna's eyes glimmer with glee. "Really? That's so cool. If you get it, I could come for a drink sometimes."

I plaster a weak smile upon my lips. "If," I murmur, knowing that there isn't even a slightest chance for me to get that posistion because it's just another one of my lies.

"What are you going to wear?" She questions, curious. "You should appear smart but also hot. You know, waitresses are given decent tips if they're cute." She winks at me and I just snort.

"Not sure yet. Something casual. It's a job interview, not a fashion show."

"Let me help you." Her offer conveys real eagerness.

I want to protest, but before I even get a chance, she's already rummaging through my chest of drawers.

Okay then.

~~~~~~~~~~

Around two hours later, I'm finally ready. Rayna put a lot of effort into making me look presentable. She picked a pair of black jeans for me to wear and a button-up sweater with a white top underneath it. She then combed my hair into a sleek ponytail, made sure that my face wasn't dripping with foundation, and in the end, she applied some mascara to my eyelashes.

"You look wonderful." Her chin is compressed in approval. "Very innocent and very unfuckable."

I involuntarily laugh. "What?"

"Well, you shouldn't reveal too much. You look hot but professional. I like it."

I use my sweaty hands to smooth the fabric of my sweater. "Good," I respond.

Her eyebrows twitch in a brief frown. "Are you nervous?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I take a deep, calming breath.

"You'll be fine. Just don't say anything stupid." She smiles at me and pushes my tensed body towards the door. "Now go. Turning up late won't help you get the job."

I let a hot breath out. "Okay," I say, and leave before I change my mind.

Pacing through the halls, lost in thought, I can't help the questions that come unbidden to my mind. Most of them I cannot yet answer, especially one, which seems to indefinitely come back to my mind each time I shake it from my head.

My master. What is he going to be like?

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