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I was ready

It's half five when I wake up. Rayna is surprisingly asleep. The essay must have totally drained her.

I quietly clamber out of bed and scurry into the bathroom. My clothes pool at my ankles as I lethargically step out of them. I turn on the water, letting it first warm up and simultaneously steam up the bathroom. I hope for the white noise of the shower running to keep Rayna asleep. I really don't feel like answering her intrusive questions about my sudden faint. I know exactly why I collapsed, and I'm too ashamed to admit it to anyone, but myself.

Having no food wasn't the culprit of my unconsciousness. Neither was it the sex with Nathan. It was Will. His seductive words and abrupt actions left me faint - literally.

I would have never thought that he could ever appear in my eyes as someone unpredictable, confident and desirable. In that specific moment, in the corridor, he was so much different to what I've gotten to know him for. It put me in such a deep shock that I had to use all of my energy and willpower to push him away. I know that if I didn't, he would have kissed me, and that in turn would have led to some serious torment between the three of us: Nathan, Will and me.

The worst thing is that Will, by doing what he did, somehow managed to get under my skin. Even thinking about him now makes me feel guilty, as if I was mentally cheating on my boyfriend.

There is a knock on the door. "Davina?" Rayna's voice startles me out.

I clear my throat and quickly reply, "Yeah?"

"Oh, thank god," she mutters from behind the door. "I thought you fainted again because for a couple of minutes all I could hear was the water running."

My heart drops. Was I really thinking about Will for so long? What is happening to me?

"No, I'm fine," I reassure. "Jumping into the shower now," I respond, getting under the hot strings of water pearls.

I take a deep breath, squeeze some shampoo onto my palm, which I then rub into my scalp. Suddenly, a single thought floods my brain.

How would Will react if he found out about me using a sex app? Would he be as furious as Nathan was?

My subconscious gapes at me, disappointed. She then whacks me with her halo. It doesn't matter. Will is not your boyfriend.

But he could be. The devil version of me smirks in a cunning way. He could fuck you so much better . . .

No! I scream inwardly.

I have to put an end to these ridiculous thoughts. Will is very much aware of what he's doing by constantly shunning me. He wants me to feel like I am nothing to him, a useless piece of garbage that he can easily take out of his life. He wants me to beg him for attention, make me focus my mind on him instead of Nathan, and eventually, get me wrapped around his finger.

I cannot let him do that.

Hating the limbo of rumination that the shower makes me go into, I quickly wash my body and jump out of the cabin. A massive towel locks my body in its tight embrace like a python when I secure it around my body. Then I walk back into the room.

"Thank god! I was dying for a piss," Rayna says abruptly, and disappears behind the door.

I put some comfortables on, then check my phone for any new notifications, but there are none.

'Go back to your boring life.' Echoes in my head.

Maybe Will was right. Maybe my life is a bit dull.

~~~~~~~~~~

On Monday morning Rayna is still dead asleep, which honestly worries me because she's always up much earlier than I am.

I prod her in the arm. "Hey, get up. There is this thing called school that we still have to attend." I wait for her to say something sarcastic in return, but she ignores me. I frown. "What's wrong?"

She opens one eye. "I'm not feeling well. Do we have any aspirin?"

Another frown crosses my face. "How did you even catch a cold? We haven't been out anywhere lately." I trawl my bag for the medicine.

Rayna props herself on the elbows. She then takes the pill and a bottle of water that I proffer. "I don't know. I'm just not feeling well."

At first, I look at her askance, but after a short scrutiny, I must agree, she does look awful. Her face is pale, her blue eyes red-rimmed, her blonde hair greasy from the sweating that she must've been going through during the night.

I grab my blanket and add it to the layers of her own bedding. "Do you want me to stay?" I ask.

She downs her water. "No, it's fine. I don't want you to ditch the lectures."

"Alright, but if you need anything, don't hestitate to message me."

"Okay. Thanks, Davina."

"No worries."

As I brush the knots out of my hair, the ones in my stomach only keep growing in number. I am extremely nervous, even more than during any exam that I have previously had in my life. If Rayna is staying in bed today, it means that I am forced to face the reality of meeting Will in the lecture hall and being sat by his side for good few hours.

Well, may the luck be with me.

~~~~~~~~~~

I plop down onto my chair, place my backpack beside my leg, and nervously look around the lecture hall, but there is no sight of Will.

Thank god.

He most likely decided to skip a few more classes, which in the near future will cause him some serious trouble, not that I care.

I place my school supplies on the tiny desk in front of me. The class should shortly begin. The professor is already here, sipping on some coffee, or probably something much stronger since she has to deal with a group of young adults on a Monday morning.

I put my phone on silent and place it in front of me in case Rayna decides to send me a message.

The lecture hall gets quickly foregathered, and a few minutes later, the class finally begins.

Half an hour into the lecture I'm already bored to tears. I swear to god, if we are told to write another essay, or read another book anytime soon, I'll just end it like Shakespeare apparently did, heavy drinking, with Rayna being Ben Jonson and Will representing Michael Drayton. Well, considering that my roommate is ill, and my other, now used-to-be-friend, isn't talking to me, and isn't even here, I might end up drinking alone.

I can feel my eyes slowly closing. I am tempted to let myself doze off for a moment, but I'm way too scared of the prospect of me drooling and snoring in my sleep. It would bring a batch of humiliation upon me. People wouldn't stop calling me weird names.

"Good morning, Mr. Reyman. What a pleasure. Got lost on your way here?" The professor's voice startles me, and I instinctively turn my head to Will, whose loud entrance I must've missed because of being half asleep.

"Wish I did. Wouldn't have had to come here at all," he grumbles, and takes a seat beside me. "I'm only joking," he quickly explains before the teacher gets to scold him.

Turns out that Mr. Cohen has got something to say regardless. "Mr. Reyman, before you decide to speak, I think that you should acquaint yourself with the definition of the noun joke first."

Will's voice remains bland. "I'll make sure I do." He tosses his backpack to the floor and spreads his legs just like guys normally do. He then places both of his elbows on the armrests, consciously making me remove mine from one of them.

The lecture reinstates its uninterrupted flow, making me drowsy again. The only thing that keeps me somewhat awake is the feedback of Will's pen as he sketches something in his notebook out of pure boredom.

I've never seen him draw anything before, and as I'm peeking over my shoulder to look at the piece of paper that he's working on, I must admit that he is really good. Outright skilled actually.

Once it comes to his notice that I've been watching him the whole while, I clear my throat and slouch down in my chair.

To my astonishment, or maybe not, he momentarily stops sketching and puts his hand down. I inwardly roll my eyes, but then my breath catches in my throat when he begins drawing circles on my thigh with the plastic tip of his pen.

My eyes remain glued to the board in front of us. "What are you doing!?" I hiss quietly through clenched teeth.

Will drags the pen a bit higher up my thigh. "Where's Rayna?" he asks.

I fight the urge to squirm in my seat. It suddenly became really hot in this room. "She wasn't feeling well. Can you stop?" I snarl, snatching my leg to the side.

Will swivels in his seat. His black eyes lock with mine as I look at him. "Shouldn't you be taking care of her?"

"I-"

"You owe her."

I frown, bewildered. "What do you mean?"

"She dragged your unconcious body back into your room when you fainted, didn't she? You know, right after we had our little discussion." He breaks out a despotic smile.

"How do you-"

He half-laughs. "Come on, Davina. Are you really that stupid to believe that no one has seen it? After Rayna had started crying for help, most of the people on our floor came out their rooms." He casually proceeds with sketching.

I blink at him, stupefied. "And you didn't help?" I snatch the pen off his hand to make him look at me.

He gives me a look of confusion and irritation combined. "I was heading off somewhere, remember? I wasn't there when you decided to collapse."

I gape at him in disbelief. "Well, maybe I wouldn't have fainted, if you-" I instantly tail off.

"If I what?" His curiosity suddenly piques.

"Nothing," I say crisply, then turn my eyes to the professor, even though I'm not even a tad interested in the class. I just don't want Will to ask me any more questions because if he does, then I'll be forced to disclose what I really wanted to say.

I wouldn't have fainted, if you didn't make me feel like I was ready to kiss you.

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