April 23rd, 2021.

"Do you want to meet up later?" the girls name that I have already forgotten spoke to me, as she began picking up her clothes that had been thrown across the floor an hour ago.

"No, you can fuck off now," I scoffed at her as I held the door open for her. She pouted her smeared red lips at me as she rushed out into the hallway.

"Another girl?" Everett asked me annoyed. I rolled my eyes at him, picking up my white button up shirt and dressing myself. "What's up your ass?" I asked him defensively.

"I just don't understand you. You come here, moody as fuck, smoking weed with me, hooking up with girls from their school, and drinking all day. Then, last month I found you balling like a baby in the bathroom about some fucking Alexandra girl, claiming that she'll never wake up or that she'll never love you again. Now, your back to the way you used to be, fucking every girl you see and drinking into the early hours of the morning. So, what's wrong?" Everett asked me in his deep British accent, his tone softer towards the end.

I broke. My features crumbled and my mask fell off. It's been four months since the accident and she still hasn't woken up. I'm beginning to lose hope now. Sleeping around and pretending that those girls are my Lexi, day drinking and doing drugs once again. It's a coping mechanism. I know that it's harsh what I do to those girls, but they give me consent.

I miss her so damn much. I didn't realise I could miss someone this much. It's like a craving. I need to see her face, I need to feel her soft touch, and I need to hear her angelic laugh. But I can't, not anymore.

Everett and I have become fast friends once again, even though we both come from different backgrounds. He's a foster kid, but his foster parents are rich as fuck. They decided to do something noble for the public eye, and that's why they fostered two kids. Everett Kaine and Rowan Sutton. I've only met Rowan once or twice, but she's feisty bitch. She's cool though, I think she'd get along well with Alexandra. Fucking hell, whatever I do or think it always leads back to her. Always.

Everett's arms wrap around me in an awkward hug; he's not one for affection or sincerity. He let me have my moment, not saying anything to console because he simply didn't understand how to do that. But I let him know what's been happening in my fucked up world.

I tell him about how I got arrested at the party after taking some hardcore pills. I tell him how my parents went ballistic, even if it was just my dad really. I tell him how scared I was because I didn't want to let anyone down, especially my mom and Sofia.

I then tell him about how I asked Alexandra to be my fake girlfriend, he chuckled a bit at that. I tell him about how much of a bitch she used to be, but I somehow managed to break through her hard exterior. I tell him about how when we first kissed, it felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I felt invincible after that kiss. I tell him about during gym class when Jackson and Vanessa began saying such hurtful things to Alexandra, that they physically hurt me too. I tell him how I fought Jackson, and because he's such a fucking pussy he could barley fight me back. And then how I went to her penthouse, to see her curled up into a little ball on her bed, surrounded by many blankets.

And that night when we began reminiscing about our childhood memories together, and how much we hated each other, yet would do anything for each other. And that kiss. Fuck me, that was one of the best kisses I have ever had, all of the best ones coming from Alexandra. How much it hurt me to agree later on that it was just a heat of the moment thing, that we should just forget about it.

That Halloween night. Fuck, when I saw her in that cat woman outfit, I swear my eyes were bulging out of my head. And when she complemented me on how much I looked like a Danny Zuko from Grease. And how confused I was, and then she promised that we would watch it, even if she had to force me to. And we did watch it, and I hate to admit that I enjoyed every second of it, even the screeching noises coming from her as she tried so hard to sing.

And that moment in English class, one of my favourites. Where I gave an honest opinion about Romeo and Juliet's undeniable love. They loved each other so much that they were willing to die for each other. Throughout my entire speech in that class, I couldn't help but think about Alexandra in a completely different way that didn't sit well with me, at first. It felt as if that moment in English class of all places, something shifted in our relationship from being fake, to something more. A lot more.

And then came the trip to Paris. She met most of my moms' side of the family, constantly asking for help because they were all speaking French to her. When we walked around the streets of Paris, holding hands, and talking about random shit, sitting at the café eating traditional French pastries. Then we went swimming in a nearby lake, seeing her in her undergarments was one of the first times that I was rendered speechless.

When she asked me to sing to her, I decided on singing Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley because it was my way of expressing how much I loved her. And when we had that fight, I felt like such an ass. She was right, I shouldn't have tried to push her to tell me when she wasn't ready. But when she came back and told me that she loved me, I felt elated. I wanted to tell her then and there how much I loved her, but I was quick to realise how fast she could leave me, so I chickened out.

Christmas day was the best day by far because I was finally able to call her my girlfriend, for real. Holy shit was that a good feeling. I remember her saying how much she wanted a dog and how she was devested when she had to get rid of the one she found. So, I spoke to her parents and they allowed me to get her a dog for Christmas, with a lot of persuasion.

I then told Everett how beautiful she looked on New Year's Eve when we were up in the Eiffel Tower. The lights that were glowing from the tower reflected onto her, casting a golden glow over her.

And when I saw her for the first time in her debutante dress at the fitting, I was honestly ready to get down on one knee because I knew in that very moment, that I will never get a better person in my life than Alexandra Brooklyn Black.

But it was that night of the debutante ball where everything began falling to pieces. I just wished I had gone about life a little differently, maybe now we would still be together. But then again, maybe we wouldn't have.

That's the thing with time and future, it's unpredictable as fuck.

"You are so fucked," is the only thing that Everett had to say to me. "I can tell that you love her, so why let your dad or this Damien bloke control what you do? I say, go back to New York and wait for her to wake up. Because she will wake up," he told me as he slapped me on the back twice, giving me a tight lipped smile.

"She wouldn't take me back man even if she does wake up," I groaned out as I fell back against the bed. "Stop being such a fucking pussy and go get your girl back," he annoyingly groaned at me as he threw a pillow at my head full force.

"What the fuck?" I growled at him as he kept on hitting me with a pillow.

"Get. Your. Lazy. Arse. Off. The. Fucking. Bed. Before. I. grab. A. book." He shouted at me as he slammed the pillow against me between each word.

"Fine, fucking hell you can be annoyingly persuasive," I muttered as I grabbed my duffle bag and suitcase and began packing my belongings. "I know," he grinned cheekily at me.

"What about you?" I asked him as I kept on packing my bags.

"What about me?" he scoffed as he tossed the soccer ball in the air.

"Don't you want to find love?" I smirked at him as I wiggled my eyebrows.

"Nah. Guys like me don't deserve love, we're void of emotion, we don't know how to feel anything," he muttered out while shaking his head. "Yeah? Well, I used to be you. Now, if you don't get a girl that loves you back as much as you love her by the next time I come to visit, I will kill you," I laughed at him as I rushed to zip up my bags and text my driver, Colin.

"Yeah, good luck with that. I'll be in hiding," he laughed at me. "Seriously, I hope everything goes well with you both. Send my love to Mrs K and baby Sof for me, I miss that little shithead," I laughed at him as we both hugged once more before I left the school building.

I was waiting outside of the school building for my driver to arrive, when my phone starts ringing with an unknown number. I answered it anyway, figuring it might be Everett.

"Hello?" I impatiently sighed into the speaker of the phone waiting for a reply.

"Sebastian? It's Vanessa," I heard a girls voice on the other end.

"As in Vanessa Edwards?" I asked cautiously, knowing that her and Alexandra were friends of sorts now, but she never told me the details.

"Yes," she told me breathlessly.

"What the fuck is it then?" I growled out because she was wasting my time.

"It's Alexandra," she told me quickly, and it felt as if my heart had stopped, awaiting whatever news was to come.

"What is it?" I nearly yelled into the phone.

"She's awake," she told me happily. It felt as if the worlds weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I fell to the ground, tears pouring out of my eyes at the miracle that after four months of losing hope every day, she's finally awake and I will make it my dying wish to get her back in my life one way or another.

•••

Bitch what the fuck?!? Another update? If you guys can't tell, I really wanna finish this book to move onto other projects! I hope you guys are happy that my grades are suffering 🤧

Alexandra's awake! Who likes Everett? Let's have a show of hands please!

Status: unedited

Don't forget to vote and comment!

Lots of love,

- Addy :)