It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

LIII | THE WALLS I'D BUILT

There's always that one point in our lives when we feel like we are at our highest point. Either in a negative way or a positive way. Sometimes, when bad things happen, the first person you are to blame is yourself. You start piecing every detail to understand what exactly went wrong, and where exactly did you fuck up.

I felt like I was at my highest point, but sadly, it wasn't in a positive way, it's kind of like the world was punishing me for all the bad deeds I had done and by doing that, they allowed one of the worst things that can happen to me.

"What?" Landon said in disbelief as those words left the doctor's mouth. I touched my heart immediately and felt how it was beating rapidly and it didn't look like it was going to stop any time from now.

I blinked a couple of times as I felt my legs began to become weak and I felt a hand steady on my waist.

"Violetta, come sit down," I heard Chase say as I was now being lead to a chair in the waiting room area.

As soon as I felt the cold surface of the chair, my vision immediately became unclear and blurry.

"Shh, it's okay," I felt Ronnie reassure me as she rubbed my back. But the truth was, it wasn't. It wasn't okay. For all we know, this might be the last time we will ever see Reece alive.

"How did this even happen?" I heard Ocean's shaky voice asked the doctor.

The doctor sighed and I looked up, making sure to wipe my tears first before another set began to fall.

"We do not exactly know, but from our files, it looks like Mr West came here about a few weeks ago," the doctor said scanning through a file.

"What!?" Mr West voiced snapped.

The doctor nodded and continued, "apparently he came here and checked himself in with a doctor, I am now just finding this out."

"Wait, what's the date he came to the hospital?" Landon asked and the doctor once again looked at his files.

"Hmm, around February 25th," he said.

"Wait, Violetta, wasn't that a week before your grandmother's wedding?" Laurianne asked.

My throat was already burning and I'm sure if I spoke it would come out broken so I only nodded, remembering Reece's words while we visited the campsite.

"Really, you're still smoking?" I frowned, he shrugged.

"I smoke when I'm stressed," he said and I scoffed.

"Babe, what could you possibly be stressed about?" I asked, concerned.

He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Trust me, you wouldn't want to know," he said. I was about to ask him what he meant by that but got interrupted when everyone else joined us, sitting down with snacks and drinks.

I mentally groaned, there were so many signs, so, so many signs and I was idiotic enough to ignore them. I kept believing Reece's words. Every time he complained about a headache, I should have taken it more seriously than letting it slide. This was completely my fault.

"So you're tellin' me there's a slight chance my brother found out he had brain cancer a month ago and didn't even tell any of us?" Robin said, causing Mrs West to cry more.

"That doesn't even make any sense, wouldn't the hospital inform his parents?" Jake asked and the doctor shook his head no.

"As stated by law, once you turn 16 years old, you have a legal right to go to a doctor on your own and for conversations with your doctor to be kept confidential. The doctor should not tell your parents or guardians anything without your permission," the doctor stated.

"Why would he hide somethin' like that from any of us?" Raven asked.

The doctor sighed, "we are not sure, but even if Reece somehow makes it during his surgery, he must have a second one as well," he said

"A second one, why?" Mrs West asked.

"Because we cannot fully remove the tumor from the first surgery, possibly only half, and for the second surgery we can remove the remaining," he explained.

"So if the first surgery is successful and he does indeed live, will the second one have more of a possibility of survivin' than the first one?" Romeo surprisingly asked, his eyes, like most of us in this room, red due to being tired and tearful.

The doctor bit his lip before answering, "the second surgery does have a higher chance of him surviving, again if the first one is indeed successful," he pointed out.

"And when will this first surgery start?" Mr West asked and the doctor sighed.

"Immediately as we speak," the doctor informed.

I felt my palm clench then unclench and I breathed in and out.

"Please just do the best you can, we already lost one child, w-we just can't lose another o-one, p-please," Mrs West begged as Mr West rested her head on his chest and soothed her back.

The doctor nodded, "we will do the best that we can," he said before nodding at all of us, then walking towards the direction Reece had gone into.

I immediately rubbed my face and rested my elbows on my lap, sleep was now long gone from my system, and I was sure that would be for some time. The waiting room was silent and no one spoke, it wasn't like no one had the courage to - or maybe they didn't have the courage to break the silence, it was mostly because we were all still in shock.

"Violetta," I looked up to see Mrs West sitting next to me, her scarf wrapped tightly around her body.

She gave me a weak smile - or at least tried to form a smile, "Mrs West, I'm so sorry," I said, my voice croaked and did not sound the least appealing.

She bit her lip and she wiped her eyes, "it's just, I'm sure Reece told you about Riley, hasn't he?" She asked and I nodded, I wasn't sure if Mrs West liked the idea of her son telling someone about her deceased child, but she didn't seem to mind.

"When she died, me and Andrew promised no matter what, the rest of our children would come first, we started spendin' more time with them, and stayin' home more, thinkin' this was a way for us to apologize for them losin' their sister," Mrs West said tearfully.

"Mom, it's not your fault, no one is to blame but Damon," Raven said, handing Raelyn to her dad before sitting down next to her mother.

Mrs West wiped her tears again, "you don't know that Raven, it's our fault, maybe...maybe if we were there for you guys more, Riley would have never been killed," she said, rubbing her face.

I looked at everyone despite Jake, Miles and Reece's family, they were shocked by the news, having no clue Reece had already lost a sibling, although Mrs West stated before that she couldn't lose another child, I think it didn't sink into their brains as it did now.

"Amelia, it's goin' to be okay," Mr West said, trying to reassure his wife and Mrs West suddenly stood up.

"We don't know that Andrew, our baby is practically fightin' for his life, and I can't lose another child, okay? The hardship and pain we went through for years and years tryin' to heal the pain of Riley's death still haunts us today, and now if Reece doesn't make it, we have two children to be melancholy about!" she basically screamed and Robin immediately sat his mom down as she cried uncontrollably once again. I felt my eyesight start to feel blurry again and I wiped my eyes and bit my lip.

"Amelia, Reece is going to be okay, there's one thing I know about my best friend and that he is a fighter," Miles said and his face showed determination.

Ocean nodded, "yes, Reece will be okay Amelia. I have no doubt about that," Ocean said, wiping a tear that escaped from her eye.

Everyone nodded in agreement and without hesitation, I nodded as well, praying to God that this was true.

"Here," I looked up to see Chase handing me a cup of coffee. It was already seven in the morning and I haven't left the hospital at all. Robin had to take Raven, Romeo, Reid, and Raelyn home to sleep. Zoey, Miles, Jake, Laurianne, and Landon were in the hospital cafeteria, getting something to eat and the rest went home to have a quick nap and shower before coming back here.

Mr and Mrs West were talking to some doctors in a room, to see the progress of Reece's surgery that was still on-going.

"Thanks," I said, taking the coffee from Chase but had no intention of drinking it. I don't think I can eat or drink anything until I know the results of Reece's surgery.

"He's going to be okay," Chase said and I rested on my best friend since third grade's shoulder and went to close my eyes tiredly, but kept them wide open. I let out a small yawn and sighed instead.

"You should get some sleep," Chase said and I shook my head no and rubbed my eyes.

"Can't, have to wait until Reece is done with his surgery," I said tiredly and my eyes were already burning from lack of sleep.

"I'll wake you when the doctor comes back, just please sleep," Chase promised and I sighed, before giving in and felt the darkness surface, at least in my sleep I could pretend Reece was alive and well, or would the nightmares come in my dream too?

I felt my body being shaken as I fluttered my eyes open and blinked a couple of time, "is he awake?" was the immediate thing that came to mind as soon as I was awoken but Chase shook his head no.

"No, not yet, I'm taking you home so you can rest properly," he said and I groaned.

"Chase," I said sternly as he stood up, grabbing both of my wrists, forcing me to stand up.

I sighed, maybe I was in need for a better sleeping surface. I smelled my shirt, definitely could use a shower too.

I walked tiredly behind Chase as we went towards the direction of his beat-up truck, I entered and closed the door softly behind me, immediately putting on my seatbelt, resting my head back and closing my eyes. I heard Chase get inside as well as he started the truck, it roared to life before Chase started to drive out of the parking lot.

"When did you even have time to get your car?" I asked.

"Laurianne helped me to get my car while you were sleeping, she took an Uber to get home," he stated and I nodded in understanding.

"Hey, Violetta, you know you could tell me anything right?" He said and I nodded. I trusted him with my life. Chase was like the brother I always wanted - I mean I still love Cole, but he can be an ass sometimes.

"I know," I sighed, giving him a tight smile.

The whole one-hour car ride consisted of deadbeat silence after that.

When Chase dropped me off at home, he said he would pick me up when I'm ready. I thanked him and watched as he drove away. I sighed going to the door and knocking, now realizing I left all my belongings at the hotel.

"Oh honey, back so soon?" my Mom said, opening the front door and raised an eyebrow at my appearance, looking around me, "I assumed Reece would drop you off with your belongings, is everything okay?" Mom asked and that's when all the walls I'd built in the past hours broke down.

I felt a tear escape from my eyes, then another and it continued on like that. My Mom frowned, immediately pulling me inside the house and wrapping her arms around me.

"What's wrong honey?" She asked and I slightly hiccupped while my head was on her chest.

"Caroline, what's the matter?" Dad voice now surfacing into the front door lobby.

"I don't know David, she didn't say anything yet, come sit down," Mom said, taking me to the living where the rest of my siblings were, all their faces looked at me with concern.

"Violetta, what happened?" Cole said, slightly panicking when seeing my face. I tried to give him a smile but failed miserably while doing so.

Mom placed me on the couch gently, "I'll go make you some tea," she said, immediately rushing to the kitchen.

Dad sat down next to me, a sad frown on his face, "is it Reece?" Dad asked and I slowly nodded. He raised an eyebrow, "did you guys have a disagreement?" Dad asked another question and I shook my head no.

I thanked my Mom quietly as she handed me my tea, but didn't have the mood to drink it. I sat it on the coffee table.

"Reece has a tumor in his brain and the doctor does not know if he'll make it or not," I cried, biting my lip as I waited for my families response.

It was dead silent, even Millie who had no idea what I was talking about gave me a sad face.

"But how?" Mom asked and I rubbed my face.

"The doctors are still trying to figure everything out, but right now, he's in surgery," I said shaking.

"Oh honey," my Mom soothed my back and rested my head on her shoulder. I closed my eyes at her comfort, my tears were calmer but still flowed down my face.

"I may not know Reece that well Vivi, but one thing I do know for sure is he's going to be okay. He's going to wake up and when he does, you'll be the first person he wants to see when he does," Gwen said, giving me a sad smile.

I smiled at my older sister words. Maybe everything was going to be alright. Maybe even the tiny little bit of hope that I have left would turn into an even bigger and stronger one.