The roses have pretty much filled the apartment, I can barely even move. If Sasha was allergic to pollen yesterday would've been the worse day for her. The gesture was sweet but I'm not gonna bite because it's just a reminder of what we used to have that doesn't exist anymore.

I don't know who I thought I was by going through my gallery, specifically the folder which contains the photos Devontae, and I took together, I went to being furious to being upset real quick, it's when I get to the photos, we took at the carnival that's when I really broke down.

I clutch his necklace that I still have on my neck which to be honest has kept me grounded as to still having him a part of me even though he isn't around anymore. The next pictures are a blur because I can't see due to my tears clouding my vision as I scroll through them on my phone.

It feels like I imagined it all, like he wasn't there and that he was just a fragment of my imagination, like it was all a dream because as quick as he came, he was gone.

The so called closure Sasha was talking about isn't what I need, what I need is to move on. Today is the first day. I drag my sorry ass out of bed and into my bathroom. I open the faucet of the bathtub, pouring in bath salts. I strip naked and throw my clothes into the hamper. Once the water is at the correct temperature, I shut the water off. I climb in, lying back against the tub.

I then slump into the tub, tears running down my cheeks, into the bathwater. Just then my phone buzzes, its Sasha.

Sash: Hey bb, you got another delivery. Well, I'll be damned. I finish up my bath, letting the water drain and I wrap my robe around my body and join Sasha downstairs. I expect something huge, but it turns out to be an envelope. I look at it carefully before opening the flap and in it is a note. I open the note to read.

21 reasons why I like you for the 21 years you've been born

1. I love the happy dance you do when you take a bite of your food, and it tastes delicious.

2. When you tie your hair up into a lazy bun and leave a few of curls framing your face

3. Your face when you're focused on something, you get this crease on your forehead and a pout that I want to kiss

4. Your clear excitement when the couples in your books do something cute or when they finally kiss or hold hands

5. How you cry easily at movies till the point where you can't watch it, but you still do,

6. How you light up after drinking your first coffee of the day.

7. How you turn into a cute little gremlin when you're hungry.

8. The fact you don't complain to work long hours, even though you have back problems

9. How your face turns crimson red when I compliment you

10. Your tiny hands that clutch onto me when we're sleeping.

11. You initiating conversation whether it be by text or facetime

12. The freckles on your face that you hate so much but which I believe makes me wanna stare at your face more

13. The full poutiness of your lips even when your face is neutral

14. How much thought you put into simple things like gift giving, they mean something and aren't superficial

15. How you still give everyone grace even when they don't deserve it.

16. When you're doing your makeup and you do your lips with that chocolate brown lipstick I love.

17. When something really excites you or something you're passionate about makes you rave and ramble. You think you're being annoying, but I'd listen to that voice every day.

18. Dat ass.

19. When you should dress up you really get dressed up, to the point where I don't know whether you keep them clothes on or not.

20. Your ability to see the beauty in simple things, like rainy days, a good book or the ocean.

21. That big ass smile you give me like I'm the only guy in the world.

Oh shit, the last sentence is a blur because of my tears, I hold the letter to my chest, and I let out a shuddering breath. Damn it, he's making this harder for me.

"It's from him, isn't it?"

I nod, unable to answer because I'm a blubbering mess again. Sasha hugs me, "that's not all though." What possibly could he have gotten to top this? Sasha shows me a box and I unwrap it and I let out a laugh.

It's a bookshelf, and its portable and foldable. Genius. It take me back to the day he asked me why I pile my books on the tiny end table instead of getting a proper one. He listened. I sniffle, wiping my nose with the sleeve of my robe. "Gosh, he's so sweet."

"So sweet, he'd make your teeth rot." Sasha says opening the door of the freezer, "damn, Ki I know you love your cookie dough ice cream but isn't this a little too much?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask, narrowing my eyes as I make my way to join her by the fridge, when I see the fridge is filled with dozens of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough ice cream my heart stops. "I didn't do this."

Sasha tilts her head at me, not convinced, "well then who would do – oh, never mind. I think there's a note here for you." She hands it to me, and it says, 'a sweet treat for a sweet lady.'

I cover my eyes as I can't help the blush that takes over my face, "ol' dude really giving boyfriends a run for their money when they fuck up." He sure is, but I don't think I can accept all these grand gestures yet, not when I have already made my decision.

...

AUTHORS NOTE

What decision do you think Kiki has made?